And I wrote to you

In the spirit of Valentines day I wanted to share a collection of letters written by a man who is writing to the woman who stole his heart. For anyone who has loved, for anyone who has experienced heartache, for anyone who is a hopeless romantic you need to take the time to read this blog….start from day one.

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Day 1.

Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I am not a writer. I am but a man, fallen far from grace. I am not handsome nor am I the charmer. But I can love, just as I loved you.

Even though you are far from me now, I find it hard to imagine life without you. But I will try. God knows I will. But I will never forget. For it took me 72 months to find you, truly did I find myself.

So I will keep writing. Just as I wrote to you, for everyday that I waited on you, for as long as it takes.

Yours Always,

Mark

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Guest Blogger – How Stella DIDN’T get her groove back

Last week I totally forgot about posting a Guest Blogger post….my mind was elsewhere so I apologize. This weeks post comes from someone who is very special to me, she has done the dating scene way too many times to keep count and has many stories of failed relationships under her belt. When I first read her contribution I could only laugh because I remember “The Youngin” all too well. It was her first experience with being the older woman and if my memory serves me right, it was her last. (well if you don’t consider her brief summer tryst with the twenty-one year old hottie with the tongue ring)

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Let me take you back fourteen years ago

“Your sister can’t take a joke…..I got on her for double dipping and she took me seriously” He said laughing.

It was obvious that I wasn’t made out to be a matchmaker because my recent attempt to set my sister up with someone who had a career and a good head on his shoulders just went bust. She didn’t feel the love connection and mentioned that what he thought was funny, simply wasn’t.  “The Youngin” had a unique sense of humor, heck we got along so I thought he would be great for my sister considering they were around the same age, plus I was dating his roommate Andy who constantly reminded me how other women thought he looked like “Tom Cruise”….. “I don’t see it”, I’d constantly say.  Needless to say, me and “Tom Cruise” went bust as well.

My failed attempt to set my sister up with this young career minded twenty year old had a bit of a twist, the twist being that our innocent friendship turned into a relationship. I actually never saw it coming because I was six years older than him, divorced with children. Who knew he fancied older women?

He says our first kiss was at my house, I don’t remember. He says he asked permission before we had sex, I don’t remember that either. I’ll blame old age for these moments of forgetfulness.

I know that I really fell for “The Youngin” but that’s what he was, young. He had his whole life ahead of him and I knew that I wasn’t going to be part of his future, signs began to show themselves eight months into our relationship. Talks about moving to Colorado were more frequent, he planned to move to Colorado with his best friend to be part of the ski patrol. He would go to parties and head to bars without me, women would come to his apartment of course to hang out with his roommate but being an “experienced” woman I saw what he didn’t see…I saw the flirting,I saw the flirting with the women HIS age.

Jealousy and of course my insecurity raged it weary head . I remembered all too well the years I spent married to a man who lied, “flirted” and cheated. Somewhere in my head I wasn’t going to be a victim, I wasn’t going to allow this guy who had my heart to end up breaking it and of course breaking ME. It already hurt to see him socialize with his crowd, it hurt that I wasn’t part of his plans any longer,but why would I be?  “No one is going to want you when you have been divorced and have two kids” is what whispered to me while I watched on while standing in the doorway.  The man I had fallen for  was inching closer to the young brunette on the couch, laughing….her fingers inching close to his leg. He was oblivious but I knew her game. It was that night I shut down …..It was that night the wall came up,it was that night I said “two can play at this game” as I glanced down at the promise ring he had just given to me a few months earlier.

I started to go out with my co-workers,if he could play with his friends, so could I. Shit, I never claimed to be very wise at that age and looking back now that was a very dumb way to look at things. Honestly, I knew eventually he would leave me and live his well deserved life.I didn’t want to be alone, single and thirty (although 30 was a long ways away) so what better way to cope then to find a replacement.

That I did …………

In my heart the youngin and I were already over . He was moving on, he was leaving that winter. We were just playing a part. Wasting each others time and maybe somewhere I was hoping he would choose me instead of Colorado.

(The last evening) He said he had come over to bring me a gift, I don’t remember any gift. I remember we weren’t talking….I remember arguing with him over the phone, telling him not to come over. I remember not caring. The wall was up and I was hurt.

I called “Fill in” guy earlier that evening, we went out, drank….came back to my house.”Fill in” guy was my drug of choice to help me get over The Youngin. There was a knock at my door…(I didn’t answer) …it was The Youngin, he tried my garage door (it was locked). I remember being scared. All I remember from the night is that I called the cops. The wall was up. I was hurt….ING. “Fill-in guy” left the next morning.

Things were never the same with “The Youngin” and I after that. He said we stayed together for a while after. I remember nothing after that night.

Years later

“Move here with me” He said.

I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I had been through too much. I no longer used “fill-ins”,I was already thirty. I was a mess. He deserved better, someone without all the drama, sadness and darkness. I was beaten down by endless heartbreaks and what I needed to do was get a handle on myself.

“We can start over, date” he said.

I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I shut down. The wall came up. He wasn’t going to get back in. No man was ever going to hurt me again.

Years later (present day)

“I know I didn’t mean much to you back then just by how you recalled our relationship, thank you for the insight. Friends is what we will be”, he said.

He didn’t get it of course, he meant something to me. Not in the way he would have liked, but I respected him. If I hadn’t then during my dark days I would have moved in with him, played him because I could, I would have pretended to be someone who I wasn’t just so I could be with someone. I could have reverted back to bad habits and made him “Fill-in” Guy 2.0; a newer version of the men I used to choose to heal the wounds of my brokenness. I chose not to. I chose to beat the darkness on my own.

Darlin, You’re not my only girl

“Darlin’ I do have to tell you that you aren’t the only girl in my life-honesty is paramount as we go forward-my heart has been with this other girl for a long time-just want you to know” said The Major  last night by text.

Hmmmmm…….I just stared at the text. My first thought was “see I knew you couldn’t tame a stallion” but then I thought about it a little longer, dissected it carefully….. “ok, is he being cute and referring to his hand ROSEY?”  ……we haven’t really discussed what type of friendship this was, granted I know that the “Talk” will come up when he comes out here in 3 weeks but if there IS some other girl then  I guess we will talk about it now.

*texts comes in*

“I think y’all should meet, Momma would love you”     ……. Ohhhh, he was talking about his mom….a sense of relief came over me.

“I would love to meet her ONE day” I said…….hoping my brief text would pacify him for a year or two…..but I was wrong.

“When do you think I will get to meet your parents?”……… hold your horses cowboy!! you’re NOT meeting my parents anytime soon. I can picture it now……………… “Hi Mom,Dad ….this is the man who swept me off my feet ten years ago and who has just popped back into my life” …..they look straight at me and then at him …….. gray hair…..distinguished older man who is fourteen yrs older than me and eighteen years younger than them………… my dad shakes his hand and then looks at me and gives his Santa Clause like laugh…..and heads out for a smoke.  ………………….. hmmmmm, come to think of it The Major smokes to so if he’s smart he’d join my father to talk about the “olden days”, but then I’m left standing there alone with my mother who can be at times very judgmental trying to figure out what to talk about.

I haven’t introduced the men I dated to my parents in a long time. They didn’t even meet Mr. Crazy and I was with him for 2 years and married for eleven months. I just got sick of these men putting on the charm, promising to my parents that they would “take care of their girl” and professing their undying love to me. Then months later we break up and I’m left having to explain why the douche bag left me for someone else or why he just wasn’t the one. Sometimes I avoid telling them the details, but it never stops my mom from her speech “ohhhh I pray every day that God sends someone to take care of you, you deserve someone nice and who will treat you good. You deserve a life-like your sister……a beautiful home in the suburbs and no financial worries and a wonderful husband. I will go light a candle tonight at church”.

Before, I would always take offense to her  “You need to find someone to take care of you” speech. I can take care of my OWN self thank you very much!! I’d whisper to myself. ……………..but now, heck…… she can burn all the candles in the church now!!!  Hahaha…….

I’m not ready to introduce The Major anytime soon, but when I do ……. I will make sure we go where there’s wine because I’m going to need it!!!

This was written a year ago today on a previous blog of mine. I remember being soooo anxious about starting things up with him again; especially with our  pending reunion of sorts just weeks away…..but it all worked out the way it was suppose to…..I married The Major six months later. 

Ladies and Gentlemen : What’s on your “Must Have” Checklist

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There was a time when all I wanted was a man like Ponch from C.H.I.P’s; while my friend, Marie was more into John ….for all I was concerned she could have him… I wasn’t too much into blonde men.  I liked them tall, dark and looking damn good in a uniform….. and at the age of ten  (yes you heard me…TEN) my list of “must haves” began.

I know that I am not the only one with a “Checklist”, after my short-lived fascination with Ponch and a few high school romances my list started to take off……..the only people who knew of such list were my two closest friends, Marie and Jenny . We would often talk about our list of “must haves” in men, erasing and adding when necessary. ……it wasn’t until I was twenty-something that my list really took off, I had to make sure that the man of my dreams didn’t possess any qualities of  His Royal Highness (1st husband) and the men I briefly dated.

Number forty-five: He must have complete control of his bodily functions or at least ask to borrow one of my kids’ pull-ups before bed!   ….this was added after my brief rendezvous with Andy….my mother thought we would hit it off because we were both from California. Well MOTHER besides his drug and porn addiction and peeing in my bed HE WAS A WINNER.

When I moved back to California and met The Major (my husband) he was that tall (taller than me), dark (had a nice tan) and ohhhh sooo handsome man in uniform. He also was older then me(fourteen years older to be exact), treated me like a lady in public but behind closed doors he treated me like a naughty little whore in bed, he turned my world upside down and when we parted ways my list grew!!!

Number fifty-seven: must be older then me

Number fifty-eight:    must be excellent in the bedroom. (lessons on how to please a woman will NOT be tolerated and given)

Number fifty-nine: must call me Darlin’ with a Southern accent

Number Sixty : Must not wear tighty whities.   Who in their right mind told men that it was ok for them to wear tighty whities….this is NOT attractive…….just because David Beckham can rock them doesn’t mean YOU CAN!!!  (boxer briefs,boxers,comando….all acceptable)

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties that I knew my list was getting out of control ….the bar was set too high and after my brief nine month relationship with The Major no guy even came close…….so I began to cross things off the list…who am I kidding it was more like making alterations to the already large list.

Number five:  must be a man in uniform (cop,fireman,military) (ok….any type of uniform….McDonalds uniform, gas attendant…. anything….but he has to look good wearing it)

Number twelve:  must be rich Must have some money…..Ok at least have more money in his bank account than I do and at the current time I have, ouch $5.68   it couldn’t be THAT hard to find right?

Number twenty-three:  Must have hair …… ok, this was put on because my kids for some reason made fun of me dating bald men. Some men couldn’t help that their hair began to recede in their twenties and well some thought they looked better without……and in E.T’s defense bald is better than being a skinny white guy with bushy red hair. (yes, E.T even though I hate the character ET with a passion the man who I dated after The Major sorta got his nickname by some of my girlfriends and they did say he resembled ET…the white version…we will save this story for another time)

“You are too picky…..money isn’t everything…..so what if he has a hairy ass at least he treats you good” these are things I would often hear. I knew I would never find a man who held the qualities like The Major or the umpteen other “must haves” on my list…….so I started a new list.

  1. Must breathe
  2. Must have a job
  3. Understands that cheating and lying are unacceptable
  4. Must love my children
  5. Must love my furgirl, Lily.

Unfortunately, by cutting my list down  and lowering the bar got me a couple of years with a thirty something man-child I swear he fondled his Play station controller more than he did me and then after that was all said and done, I jumped into the relationship I soon regretted with Mr.Crazy.

Luckily ….. I never had to redo the list because The Major and I reconnected after the whole Mr.Crazy debacle and now we are in the process of writing our Happily Ever After…….

I still hear the “must have’s” from my single friends and I will be honest some of my friends lists need some tweaking or maybe they need to do some searching within themselves. Sometimes the items we listed back when we were twenty don’t necessarily stand true to what we really need now while we are getting older. Is social status THAT important?….come on you aren’t in High School anymore or competing for the next spot on a new reality show. Being a suit on Wall Street or in some big wig corporation shouldn’t be one of your top three……….what should be in your top three is:

1. that he loves you

2. that he is honest with you

3. that he respects you and your family

Date night, bye bye sugars and a grandma that wouldn’t shut up

Saturday night the hubby and I went to go see the Little Rock Travelers play some ball….but it never fails, EACH TIME we go somehow we end up sitting in front of a family who let me just say it mildly “wouldn’t shut the heck up!”. This time we were blessed with a family of 7; grandma and grandpa included and for the whole nine innings the grandma could not shut her trap and was constantly egging her granddaughter on to say certain phrases over and over and over again such as “swing batter batter” for the WHOLE nine innings, or discuss the characters of the Lion King….it came to a point that when Brooklyn (the granddaughter) was supposed to give her uncle Jarred “bye bye sugars” and refused after being asked twenty times (I’m NOT exaggerating)  I was about to step in and say “Lay off the kid, she obviously doesn’t want to give some hairy sweaty man bye bye sugars”.

I don’t expect silence at a game, but I do expect that people show some courtesy to those around them. I understand that some people may think that taking a two,three or four year old to a baseball game is appropriate….it’s not….not unless you think it’s ok for your child to kick the person in front of them continuously in the head …… Yes, I will take a “Ohhh I’m sorry” a couple times but after the sixth time that I’m being kicked and nudged in the head and shoulders it gets a bit annoying….ohhh and don’t get me started on the sticky cotton candy hands in my hair!!

See, my hubby and I like to go to these games……….for me it’s one of “our”things (it’s been our thing since we first met ten years ago) that we enjoy, he likes the game itself ….I like the fireworks at the end and we just like spending time together period. Sharing HUGE, ever so fattening corn dogs which by the size of the thing just turn me on every time……haha…..I think it’s romantic that he will unshell the peanuts for me because he knows I always have difficulty getting to them…. I also think he finds amusement when I foul up some baseball lingo or hand gesture…because to those who have been reading this blog know I am clueless when it comes to Americas favorite past time.

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We laugh while watching those ” in between” inning games ……this time was priceless, as the girl runs right into her opponent and is later rescued by the cow.

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I was glad the game was about over because the best was just around the corner…..cuddle time with my honey while we enjoy some beautiful fireworks.  As the lights shut off, the patriotic music began to play letting us all know that the nights sky was going to be filled with a beautiful display of fireworks…………….and then………………Brooklyn’s granny began egging her on again. I swear does this woman  ever shut up!! no wonder her husband was sitting at the very end of the row!!  “Brooklyn get the sparkles (fireworks)!! get the sparkles for grandma” OVER AND OVER AND OVER again……. I tried my best to tune her out but it was a little hard when I had to keep dodging the little hand that was inches away from my face trying to get the “sparkles”.

Ten minutes into the amazing firework show my nerves were shot…..it took everything in me not to turn around and tell Mr.Granny that they are FIREWORKS not sparkles and to please let me enjoy the last five minutes in peace cuddled up next to my honey….but I refrained from making a scene and enjoyed the rest of the show!!!

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True friends tell it like it is ….Please stop this nonsense!!

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Yesterday, I was speaking with my friend Marie who was distraught over a very recent break-up. I didn’t quite understand why she was upset because she had been trying to find a way to end things with him for months and sorta/kinda moved on with another man but yet she was stating that she screwed up badly and sabotaged the best thing that she ever had. Well “The best thing she ever had” never had time for her, put together a spreadsheet showing when he could fit her into his schedule, disrespected her in front of others, flirted with other woman in front of her, they brought the worse out of each other such as insecurity, jealousy, anger, bruises and to top it off he didn’t like her dog!!!  Her vision of “The best she ever had” was totally off kilter.

“Jolene, he’s a hot commodity here….all the women want him. It felt good to be with him when we were out on the town, just knowing others envied me made me feel good…plus when I was talking to my mom  she mentioned that I needed to stay with the corporate types because they make money”……ok, I was glad she admitted it…… “Marie, remember when Katie Holmes started dating Tom Cruise? She was in awe of him, she loved what he was about; money…glitz ….glamour….for heavens sake he was  her childhood crush and now she was in the spot light being envied by other woman, but after awhile his full crazy showed…….and now look at them”   why I brought up Crazy Cruise is beyond me but she saw my point.

“Marie, you have a man in your life (the new guy) who is giving you all that you ever wished “Corp” would. He’s romantic, thoughtful, giving, he is wonderful with your children and he is drama and chaos free, who cares if he doesn’t wear a suit and tie and makes bookoo bucks, this man adores you. He’s not some bipolar pizza delivery driver (no offense to delivery drivers I was trying to make a point) with no direction, he has his own business and gives back to the community……..in some ways he reminds me of Terry…..and you tossed him aside because your mom said he couldn’t provide for you the way you deserved….now here’s your chance to be with a man who is all about balance but for some reason you think you deserve chaos. You need to stop listening to your mother…..is SHE happy in her marriage? No. Would you be happy with Corp knowing full well that you are just a spot on his spreadsheet?? No….Will you grow to be ok with his anger and flirtatious ways or will it just feed your increasing insecurity? Is this the makings of a long and lasting love???? Uhmmmm NO”

I know I was being somewhat harsh, but sometimes tough love is needed. I remember those times when my Best Friend Jenny would give me those core shaking talks, but it was her honesty and hard cold truth that made me see the light and I love her for that!!

“You’re right” is all she said. I could hear the frustration in her voice. I know she’s conflicted……I just wish that she could see beyond the glitz and glamour that she so wants to be a part of. I feel bad for this new guy who has been waiting patiently for her while she has been playing ring around the rosy with her feelings for Corp……..but  because of certain actions on Maries part Corp won’t speak with her. “Marie, just remember how you felt when you and Joe were ending things and Corp was the “other” guy….it was hard for you to let Joe go to, but you did…..you need to realize that love may not come in a suit and tie, maybe it’s time for you to see how love without  jealousy and doubt feels like, maybe it’s time for your daughters to see their mom happy, maybe it’s time for a good male role model to be part of their life unlike Corp who never fit them into his”

Our conversation was cut short…..but I hope she heard me …REALLY heard me. I just wish she would stop listening to her mother and those high society “it’s all about money” friends……because this is reality not some Real Housewives of “Santa Barbara”.  I just want what’s best for my friend and that’s not Corp, she deserves a real genuine man.

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Evolution of Hanky Panky

This morning a fax was going around the office and I thought I would share it with all you lovely people.

The Evolution of Sex

–        The first is Smurf Sex .This happens during the honeymoon period; you both keep doing it until you are blue in the face.

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–        The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

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–        The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

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–        The fourth Kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, “Fuck you!”

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–        There is also a fifth kind of Sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

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Now, I can totally relate to all of these ……….well except the last one. I’ve been divorced twice and I never wanted anything from either of them…..well besides the divorce. When my kids father and I divorced we were twenty-two years old and the only thing I wanted was full custody of my children. I was living in another state by the time the divorce was finalized and I pretty much started a new life for myself and my children. As far as my second marriage, all I wanted was to completely cut ties with him …….. I couldn’t wait to get rid of his last name, just thinking about it just makes my skin crawl. I remember hearing through the grapevine that he thought I would take him for all he had………..yeah like I wanted his grungy ass home (which I tried to redecorate but this place was hopeless), his dumb marvel comic/ Simpson cartoon t-shirts that were way too small for him or his waste of money “what were you thinking” garage sale finds.

Twizzlers, soft kisses, playing with my hair and being you.

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First way to my heart is just being you. Not the made up version you think women want, the real raw you….the honest, truthful, bring me into your closet full of skeletons and reveal the whole you.  There is nothing more disappointing then finding out that the person you have spent days, months or even years with isn’t the person they proclaimed to be. Actually it ticks me off! Don’t tell me you have your shit together, that you are some manager of a restaurant when you’re only their delivery driver, that you dedicate your life to your children and have your anger issues under control when in reality you don’t. 

Second way to my heart is loving and treating my furkids the way you would treat your own children. Pretending to be a dog/cat person will only get you so far because I will know…..THEY WILL KNOW……TRUST ME.

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Third way to my heart is quite simple really………….. ask me how my day was. Not just asking and then tuning out 5 minutes later while I am still sharing about my day. Showing that you care no matter how stupid or insignificant to you it may be; what’s important is that you are listening and that means more than anything.

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Ohhh and if you’re confused by the title of the post…..well I was only allowed 3 things……but surprising me with a bag of Twizzlers will make my day and maybe my week!!! Soft kisses from my honey makes me melt ……..and those nights when I lay my head on his lap and he runs his fingers through my hair turns me into mush….it’s better than a massage!!

Home is where you hang your hat

#5  HOME

When I first saw what todays  post was supposed to be about I instantly thought of one thing. A moment in time where all things stopped for a brief second and a new chapter in my life began.  If you read yesterdays post I spoke about how my husband and I had a reunion of sorts up in Santa Barbara last July…..well all good things had to come to an end that weekend and I had to say good-bye and where he gave me that long-awaited kiss at the bottom of the escalator 3 days prior we were standing there yet again not wanting to say good-by.

He stood there staring straight into my eyes, tears filling his  beautiful green eyes; he said “Darlin, Cowboys hang their hat at home. You are my home.” He took his cowboy hat off his head and placed it on mine, grabbed me and kissed me ohhh so passionately (getting goosebumps just thinking about it).  My heart was breaking; I didn’t want him to leave. With tears falling I looked up at him an said “you’re my home too”.  He then started walking towards the escalator to get to his flight. I grabbed his hat and said “wait your hat”, he smiled and whispered “keep it honey, it stays at home….you’re my home, I love you”.  With tears streaming down my face I watched my Cowboy leave to go back Arkansas.

okay enough of the mushy stuff……..

So home isn’t necessarily the house we live in, home can be when I am wrapped up in his arms or riding on the back of his bike holding on for dear life!!

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And to think Fifty Shades of Gray brought us back together!!

Ok……after a few days of thinking about the challenge, I’ve decided to take the plunge and do the 30 day blog challenge otherwise known as the Be Happy Challenge. It’s harmless and I know I can stick to this rather than a 30 day diet because God knows I can only tolerate a week without carbs before I become one heck of a cranky lady. I love my carbs; I have the curves to show for it!!

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#4 Something/Someone that makes me happy

As much as he can be a cranky old goat at times, my husband makes me happy. Ohhh don’t worry this isn’t going to be some sappy ODE to my husband because I really don’t think people could stomach that this early in the morning.

We met ten years ago and after dating for nine months we went our separate ways …..dated others, I married Mr.Crazy which didn’t last a year….life happened, but in those ten years while we were apart living our lives  no matter how many years had past I couldn’t shake him from my heart or brain. His touch, his smile, his being was embedded into my soul and there was no man that could even stand a chance to him. It was crazy …. I tried to find pieces of him in the men that I dated but I just grew frustrated and eventually ended it because they didn’t touch me like he did NOT even with coaching did they come close, they didn’t have his gentlemen qualities and they certainly didn’t look at me the way he did. I would often hear “you will never be happy, what is it that you are searching for?”, what I was searching for lived on the other side of the country and was involved. Over the years we kept tabs on each other and even though he would flirt with me it would just make me frustrated because there was no way I could be with him again and put my heart through the turmoil of losing him once more.

UNTIL………….June of last year. I ended up jumping onto the Fifty Shades of Gray bandwagon and decided to see what all the hoopla was all about. While reading the book the characters seemed quite familiar, the heated moments brought back memories (minus the play room and the heavy equipment). Then instead of seeing the characters in my head I saw HIM “the Major” (my husband) and I. Holy Shit!!  Well, I tried to block him from my thoughts, but they were too strong. I grabbed my laptop and logged onto Facebook and found him and sent a silly off the wall message regarding the book that I was reading and how it reminded me of us…….him.

Here’s the message :

So i picked this book up last night…..with each page i read, the main character reminded me of someone…….confident, matter of fact, ballsy, charming. Then …….i came to the part of the book where it GETS GOOD…..and i sat there with book in hand, faced flushed because the book just took me there…..and then i said “shit i have been with this Mr.Grey type”……. Because Mr.Grey in the bedroom was sexually domineering, knew how to please a woman and enjoyed the naughty stuff but yet never disrespecting the girl (other main character)…….their sexual energy ……brought back memories of our sexual energy…….the pulling of the hair, the spanking, the biting, the raw sex…..it was all in the book. it was soooooo crazy!!!

just thought i would share that!!!! ……..although Mr.Grey has more bondage and whips fetishes than i think you and i have ventured into but …….it’s such a good damn book……

Hope all is going good……

That message set the ball rolling……..we talked all the time and then we decided to see if the spark was still there so we planned at mini weekend vacation up in Santa Barbara (our favorite place). I waited for him at the airport and I was nervous as all get out !! Then I saw him come down the escalator…..cowboy boots,wranglers, simple white t-shirt, cowboy hat and one hell of a sexy smile!! Things hadn’t changed one bit………..he looked at me and said “Hello Darlin” and we kissed. In all honesty…..I couldn’t wait to take him back to the hotel to continue our little reunion!!!  That weekend just made us realize that even though ten years had passed we still loved one another. OHH the crazy thing  about the love stuff…..while we dated (for 9mths) we never said I love you, we did love each other and he knew I did but for our own personal reasons we didn’t go there. ….but we went there that weekend and never looked back. He proposed to me a few months later and we sealed the deal late December.

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Yeah we had our tiny issues…..newlywed “power struggles” I like to call them. We are both stubborn and we have been living our own lives and have our own routines so getting to know  ones quirks is always “interesting” but no matter the disagreement we both know that we have this overwhelming love for one another that has stood the test of time and one silly disagreement isn’t going to change that. Like he always says “I love you …. I don’t know why, but I do”…..then I look up at him and say…. “It’s because I make a killer meatloaf”….. then I see his handsome grin.

But I can say this…………in the small amount of time that we have been married I have learned a lot and that search that I have been on for the past ten years……….well the search is no more because I go home to my one and only every night. He’s my stubborn old goat and I love him!!

me3