Daily Prompt : With or Without You

I’ve given a few ultimatums in my day but I wanted to share one that was given to me about four years ago.

Mr. Crazy (2nd husband,divorced, but at the time we were living together) was in one of his jealous rages and no he wasn’t jealous of another man or my time spent with friends …he was jealous of my furkid, Lily.

“It’s either me or the dog, choose one”  he spat.

I laughed. Does he really want me to answer that truthfully? no one in their right mind would give such an asinine demand but again he wasn’t in his right mind, come to think of it… he was probably off his meds.

He threw out the ultimatum again, “It’s me or the dog !!!!” I looked straight at him and said, “I choose Lily”.

The look on his face was priceless, he was shocked. “You would choose a DOG over me?” he said angrily. “She’s not just a DOG, she has been with me through thick and thin…..and your ultimatum is the silliest thing I have ever heard, you are jealous of Lily!”

He thought the way he felt was truly valid but he was told by our therapist that being jealous of a dog was just crazy and that the ultimatum he tossed out was not only immature but stupid.

Come on look at this face …… you’d choose her too!!

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Thankfully, my husband loves Lily and the rest of our furkids…. he spoils them rotten with love, attention and many beggin strips.

To view other Daily Prompts please visit : With or Without You

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And I wrote to you

In the spirit of Valentines day I wanted to share a collection of letters written by a man who is writing to the woman who stole his heart. For anyone who has loved, for anyone who has experienced heartache, for anyone who is a hopeless romantic you need to take the time to read this blog….start from day one.

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Day 1.

Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I am not a writer. I am but a man, fallen far from grace. I am not handsome nor am I the charmer. But I can love, just as I loved you.

Even though you are far from me now, I find it hard to imagine life without you. But I will try. God knows I will. But I will never forget. For it took me 72 months to find you, truly did I find myself.

So I will keep writing. Just as I wrote to you, for everyday that I waited on you, for as long as it takes.

Yours Always,

Mark

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He had me going all day~ Our One Year Anniversary

The hubby really had me going all day on Saturday, as I mentioned earlier he got me a package of toilet paper for our one year anniversary…..the man missed his calling, he should have been a comedian.

During the day he stayed in his PJ’s while watching college football, I did a few things around the house and read a book…..it was very relaxing, around four he looked over at me and said:

So what do you want to do for dinner….I wouldn’t mind having tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich?”

Seriously?? grilled cheese sandwich and soup?? I kept my frustration at bay…and remembered that we are going out of town in a few weeks to really celebrate our anniversary.

“Well, I thought we were going out to dinner….but if you would rather stay in we could”

“No, we can go out ….where do you want to go?”

“How about you choose, considering I always pick”

He got up off the couch, gave me a kiss and told me to be ready in a little bit.

I started curling my hair….. “I wonder where we are going, uhmm what should I wear?” I headed into the bedroom to ask him but noticed that he was sitting on the couch, still in his sweatpants and t-shirt watching football.

I didn’t say anything, I just came to terms with the fact that he really wanted to watch college football, so soup and grilled cheese would be on tonight’s menu.

5:20 pm 

I noticed the time and I was getting a little hungry…..the hubby stepped outside to have a smoke so I went into the kitchen and started frying up some bacon to put in his grilled cheese sandwich and placed the soup on the stove to warm up.

“What are you doing?”  he said.

“Making dinner….I just figured since you haven’t showered that you decided that we should just stay in”

“I told you we were leaving at six”

“Hmmmm, you never told me a time ….at four you said we would be leaving soon”

“We are leaving at six….so you may want to get ready” 

I finished up frying the bacon and then headed to the bathroom to freshen up, you know….make-up, hair, a spritz of pretty perfume. I still didn’t know where we were going so I was waiting to see what he was wearing before I changed.

He ended up wearing something other than jeans so I knew we weren’t headed to Chili’s so I put on something nice and gave the furkids a kiss good-bye.

Still being left in the dark regarding our destination, I figured from the direction we were heading that we were having dinner in Little Rock….which was a nice change. 35 minutes later we found ourselves trying to find a parking spot in downtown, I knew now that he was going to take me to one of my favorite restaurants, Ristorante Capeo….it’s a bit on the pricey end but it’s romantic and the food is divine.

“Ohhh no, I don’t think we will be able to get in without a reservation” I thought to myself. He opened the door of the restaurant and said;

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes…I am, but we may need a reservation”

“Honey, I made the reservation two weeks ago and made sure to get the little heart table in the corner..you know the one we sat at the first time we came. I told them it was our anniversary” 

He had this planned all along….the tomato soup/grilled cheese suggestion was just a rouse.

As we sat down at the table, I looked at him lovingly ….

“You’re such a romantic…I can’t believe you planned to take me here all along….what would of happened if I told you earlier that I wanted to go to Chili’s?”

“I would have told you that I didn’t want to go there” 

Our meal was scrumptious and the tiramisu that we shared was everything that I remembered, yummilicious!!! I got up to use the little girls room and when I made my way back to the table I noticed that he had gone outside to have a smoke, but on the table was a box wrapped in gold paper with a little red bow on top.

My heart melted….

I picked up the box and mouthed to him from the other side of the window

“Honey….really? oh my gosh…can I open it?”

“YES” he said with a smile.

I unwrapped the box, pulled out the little box from inside…..I opened it up and I didn’t know what to say…I was speechless. It was a beautiful diamond heart necklace.

“It’s beautiful…I love you” I mouthed to him …

“I love you too” 

Once he came back inside, I gave him a big kiss……

“Happy Anniversary Honey” he said.

“Happy Anniversary Dear….I love you”

Thirty-six ….and no that’s NOT my age

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36 as in thirty-six more days till Christmas, urgh….I haven’t even started Christmas shopping yet , have you?? every year I tell myself that I need to get a jump start on Christmas shopping but I never listen to myself and I always find myself buying things at the last minute or finding more things to throw in the kids stocking. I can’t do that THIS year because my children and I won’t be together this Christmas…….Scott and Marie will be in California celebrating with their father and Ann will be spending Christmas with her boyfriend in Nebraska.

It will be a little sad not having them around but I knew that eventually they would grow up and celebrate Christmas with their loved ones. So…….instead of presents under the tree and stockings filled with candy and trinkets I have to fill up a box that hopefully, when they get it will give them a little sense of home. Moms home.

While at Hobby Lobby I wasn’t sure if I should buy them stockings and fill them up with goodies or just send them gift cards, but that’s just not ME……….I can’t JUST send them gift cards for Christmas!! When they open their box they need to feel Christmas, but I don’t want them to be disappointed either.

~remembering when I was their age and I got some Christian mints and a bible~

I want to be creative ….. but yet not cheesy. Maybe I will spend some time on Pinterest tonight and come up with some cute ideas…..it’s not as easy as it use to be when they would supply me with a Christmas list and I would carefully budget around making Santa come out on top once again!!

…………and aside from the kids I have to think of something to get the hubby and even though I have a few things in mind, I keep hearing “I don’t want anything….it’s not about the presents”.  Last year we didn’t give each other anything because we got married and we were moving…well I was moving. The furkids did get him a few things but that’s because it would just feel weird (to me)for him not to have something to open on Christmas morning…..but what to get a guy who pretty much has everything?  ~ he did mention something to me the other day about me dressing up as a slutty little elf, I wonder where I can get a slutty little elf costume?

Urgh…..that reminds me, the furkids!!  Lily HAS to get a new Christmas dress and Dart needs a cute Santa outfit!!  Maybe if Sami cooperates she will let me put a Santa hat on her and I can get a group photo of them!!

Uninspired

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That’s how I have been feeling lately. I want to write, I have a lot on my mind but to pull it out and let the words flow through my finger tips isn’t happening. There’s a roadblock……a yellow caution “DO NOT CROSS” tape in front of those thoughts that are keeping me from moving forward.

Maybe it’s the weather ……

Saturday I felt as though something was sucking all the energy out of me. I wasn’t sick….but just going from the living room to the kitchen took everything out of me. Driving to the store was nearly impossible, I wanted to just pull over and sleep. It took quite a bit of convincing (from myself) to get in the shower and once in, I just stood under the stream of water for what felt like hours wishing for this feeling to disappear.

Was what I was feeling the result of the lack of carbs and caffeine from this diet I am on or was this just a combination of being emotionally drained, not having an appetite and having so much going on that my body was forcing me to just rest and recharge?

I think my diet is making me cranky

 

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“If we go out there you can see Dennine” the hubby said.  “Well, that would be nice and all but she’s gone MIA. I have called and sent several texts over the last month and a half but she hasn’t responded”. I replied.

I know she’s alive; she posts pictures on Facebook of her children…..so I’m not worried that she fell down a well or was abducted by some alien creature. She’s just busy……and I will continue to tell myself that over and over again, but the way I am feeling today is that you should never be sooooooo busy that you just can’t respond to your best friend…..GOD knows, when shit happens in the lives of my friends, I’m all ears. If they need to rant, cry and bitch about something I am ALWAYS there for them. I don’t look at my phone and ignore them. …maybe I should.

See, the hubby was asked to speak at a retirement ceremony and this means that we may fly out to California for a few days……and Dennine happens to live very close to where the ceremony would take place, so it would give us a chance to see one another.

I miss her

I told my husband that she has a lot on her plate right now and making time to see me probably wouldn’t happen considering she hasn’t responded to any of my messages. Simply ….it is what it is.

~I’m just going to be blunt ….. when someone calls  or sends you a text, send a flipping response. It doesn’t have to be that second or even that same day….just acknowledge it. This isn’t just for my MIA best friend……but THOSE other people know how I feel. I respond…even if I am busy.

Also ….while I am on this rant of mine. When I am asked to do things (this isn’t pertaining to work), I pretty much drop what I am doing and complete the task required of me……it’s just what I do. If I need to research something, plan something, pick something up, call someone, and schedule an appointment …..Whatever, I’m on it….I get it done. What annoys me is if I ask for the same in return do you think it’s done with a prompt “get it done” attitude? HECK NO!!   what I need to do is have the same “I will do it when I get around to it” attitude!

I think this new diet and my lack of sleep has made me cranky

I was so close to dusting off my Packer gear and painting my face Green and Gold !!

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Why couldn’t I be some selfish bitch who is an “all about me” kinda gal and could care less about our finances……shit, I felt guilty just buying a bra and some warm pajamas today….. ohhh and a Starbucks skinny vanilla latte. It’s not like we are penny-pinching but still.

See, yesterday a friend of ours told me that she has 2 extra tickets to go to the Packer / Eagle game on November 10th in Green Bay, Wisconsin!! The price for the tickets are $250 each ….. well, of course I got super excited just thinking about setting foot back at Lambeau Field and just taking in the whole experience……but besides the cost of the tickets there would be added expenses like  the cost to travel to Wisconsin, kenneling the furkids, of course buying some new Packer apparel…. plus this would also give me the chance to spend a day with my sister and her family.  I looked at my husband with a huge grin telling him about this Packer fun-filled weekend that could be ours for JUST $500. He didn’t say no  but he didn’t say yes either……but after I really thought about it,  I couldn’t see us spending close to $1000 after all was said and done.

I continued to silently think about this all night and well into the  morning…… this would be such an awesome way to celebrate our anniversary/Christmas and my 40th birthday (which isn’t until January) ….kinda like huge combo celebration.

While standing in line at TJ Maxx, contemplating whether or not I REALLY needed a new bra and warm fuzzy pj’s I checked my phone and saw a message come through from my husband.

“Honey, if you really want to go, ok- just understand that it will be a Christmas/birthday/anniversary rolled into one-tkts plus travel plus dog kennel will be over $1000”

I wanted to scream “I’m going to the Packer game bitches” while jumping up and down. He SAID yes!!…well, he said “ok” and for a brief moment I was already planning on what I was going to wear…I was going to call my sister to tell her to expect us that Friday night and I was already preparing what I was going to tell my boss. Then reality hit…..yeah, I REALLY wanted to go…that was true….but I also

would REALLY love for my son to get over his fear of airports and fly to see me for the holidays.

I would REALLY love for all my kids to come see me for Christmas

I would REALLY love a good camera to take some really beautiful fall pictures.

I would REALLY love to go hog wild at Hobby Lobby and buy tons of Christmas decorations.

I would REALLY love to do a lot of things, like to be seated in section 114 row seat 44 in Lambeau field but I have to be that responsible smart person…..it’s NOT all about me….so I replied back to my husband that there would be other opportunities to go to a game but right now it wouldn’t be financially smart….a minute later he replied “I love you too”.

I need to buy a simple coffeemaker or better yet, I will just stay away!!

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In the last 24 hours I’ve realized two things; one.. I can’t make fried chicken and two, I failed at making coffee twice this morning. …..actually I failed at operating that dang multi-button coffeemaker that I bought my husband last year.

Yes, I know I can hear all of you now…..especially you, Lisa!!  “Are you telling me you can’t operate a coffee maker?” ………. Calm down………. in my defense I don’t drink coffee on a daily basis and if I am craving my skinny vanilla latte I have Starbucks make it for me. I have never really owned a coffeemaker and when I did, it was my husband who bought himself one ten years ago (when we were first dating) which over the years I got rid of because it was just taking up space….but I ended up buying a nice one when he came back into my life.

Well, this morning I thought since he had the day off that I would make him coffee. How hard could it be? Pour some water in the machine……scoop some coffee grounds in and push a button right? ohhhh, no….it’s not that easy especially when I attempt this ten minutes after getting up and in the dark; the only thing giving me light was the nightlight by the doggy dish.  As I poured the water in…..the water poured right out…. “What in the world”……I turned the light on and I didn’t pour it in the right spot. URGH….I grabbed a towel and started again.

I made sure all the lights were on….I poured the water in, scooped the coffee …..pressed the green button. I felt great…any minute now my honey would be walking into the kitchen to the smell of freshly brewed coffee….meanwhile I fed the furkids and something told me to check the coffee. I looked up and noticed coffee was spilling ALL OVER THE FLOOR………. “What in the world, shit…shit…shit!!!”   I didn’t have time to figure out what I did wrong, I unplugged the damn thing…moved everything off my coffee/tea bar and cleaned up the mess. I was praying that my hubby wouldn’t come in and see me with a handful of coffee stained towels and a mess on the floor. Seriously, I wouldn’t hear the end of it…..the jokes would probably not stop coming for days.

Once the mess was cleaned up, I wasn’t going to attempt making coffee for the 3rd time ….. plus I still had to get ready for work and I had 15 minutes before I had to leave. Just then my furboy decided to throw up his breakfast inches from my feet. “GREAT…JUST GREAT” …. I said to myself while comforting my little furboy.

With less than a minute to spare, I went into the bedroom to say goodbye to my husband  “Honey, I attempted to make coffee but failed miserably…I don’t know what happened, but coffee was all over the floor….it’s cleaned up so don’t worry”.  It’s not like I would have left him a huge mess to clean up….so I don’t know why I said for him not to worry.  “How did you do that?” he said, “I have no idea…really I don’t”.  I know he was trying to wrap his head around what had taken place while he slept….. “so you don’t remember what you did wrong?”…. “No, I just know that I had good intentions but failed miserably”.

We said our good-byes…….and he headed to the kitchen to make coffee and I headed to work but treated myself to a Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte, because after the morning I had…..I deserved it!

I thought the magic was in the Crisco~ my attempt to make Southern Fried Chicken

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Yesterday, I felt like Ceelia Foote from The Help when she was trying to make Southern Fried Chicken for her husband. See, I get my fried chicken from a box…..Churchs or KFC suits me just fine, but my Southern husband asked me a few weeks ago that he would love for me to learn how to make fried chicken.

So I gave it a shot……but any old recipe wouldn’t do, so I asked my friend Lisa if she had a Southern Fried Chicken recipe that would knock my husbands socks off!!  “Yes Ma’am” she said. She even said that her recipe was simple enough that even I could do it. After reviewing her recipe I noticed that Crisco was in order, uhmmmm Crisco……I had visions of myself standing in front of a cast iron skillet with a big glob of Crisco melting while I prepare to drop in the chicken to be fried.

(Crisco, check- flour,check-butter, check-chicken, check)

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imagesWell, to my surprise this recipe didn’t require a cast iron skillet or having to dodge splatters of hot Crisco, her recipe called for me to bake it……..but to put in a couple globs of Crisco and butter in the metal baking pan. I needed the “fat” to get all nice and hot before putting my chicken in its home for about an hour.  My only question was “if its baked how does it turned fried?” but I kept my question to myself, I wasn’t going to ask Miss Lisa some stupid question that she will only shake her head and think “Poor little California girl”. So, I just followed her recipe step by step …… somehow some way my chicken will be fried. The trick must be in the Crisco!!

(season the flour, flour the chicken, then put it in the pan–check,check,check)

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I waited the 25 minutes before I had to turn the chicken over, I didn’t peek because again I didn’t want to screw it up……but when the buzzer when off and I opened the oven, I didn’t see fried chicken. “Shit I screwed up” I grabbed a bowl, melted more crisco and butter in the microwave, removed the chicken….poured the melted “fat” concoction in the pan…..and placed the chicken back in. “This should fry it”.

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As the chicken was cooking, I started up the butter beans that my husband requested, along with some mashed potatoes. “Do you know how to make Sawmill gravy?” he asked. “sawmill what??” I asked.  He informed my nonsouthern self about this gravy and tried to explain how to prepare it. Sounded easy enough so I was going to try it.

Let me just say…… he never got his sawmill gravy, because I was just exhausted. I ended up pulling out a package of gravy mix and prepared that on the stove. I finished sprucing up the potatoes, poured the butter beans in a bowl and was about to pull out the chicken. *crossing my fingers* I said out loud “please oh please be fried”.

It wasn’t “fried”, I googled baked fried chicken……and then saw that what I was cooking was considered “Skinny fried chicken”….. “well, I think I blew the skinny out of it with all the crisco” I said to the furkids.

I plated the chicken…..and hoped that he wouldn’t be disappointed that it wasn’t FRIED CHICKEN, like he had wanted.

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Like the Southern gent that he is, he said the chicken was very good. “What’s wrong” he asked.  “I’m tired, this southern cooking wore me out!!! but I was hoping it was going to be FRIED….I thought the magic was in the crisco?”.

Dinner was very good though, but next time ….. I’m busting out the cast iron skillet, the tube of crisco and will attempt to make fried chicken!!

Lady, you got some balls!!!

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*Bing*

I looked down at my phone, “Coeli pinned one of you pins on Pinterest” the notification read. Ok, that name rang a bell….I let out a chuckle. The only Coeli I know (well not personally)  was my husbands  “not all there in the head” ex-girlfriend. “The girl has some balls” I said to myself. It’s one thing to secretly stalk an ex or their significant other but to make it known that you are checking them out is another thing.

Just to make sure that I wasn’t jumping to conclusions, I did confirm that it was her by just clicking on her picture. I was amused. “Honey, do you want to hear something funny?”, I told him about his ex’s recent action, he rolled his eyes and replied “she’s probably on the internet as we speak looking at all your posts”. “Well, she can look all she wants, she can read my blog and scope my Facebook…..she’s just going to see pictures and read stories about us”

Why now though, I wondered? I just remember all the craziness she created when she found out that my husband moved on and started dating me. She sent my daughter a Facebook message stating that her and my husband were married, that they have a wedding website, that she knew he was cheating when he would say he had to go out of town for work, she even called me a home wrecker. Her story just grew and grew….she even changed her Facebook picture to an old picture of the two of them. My daughter asked her to provide proof of the faux marriage, “send me a picture of your marriage license, a wedding picture and the wedding website, ohhh and why are you still using your maiden name why haven’t you changed it if you are MARRIED?”… she wrote back but Miss Crazy lady   never sent the proof that was asked of by my daughter, she just sent a couple more messages until my husband put an end to it.

Why she never messaged me was the weird thing, to involve my daughter was just further proof she was just out to hurt people. Not long after, my daughter told me that she went onto Miss Crazy lady’s Facebook page and noticed that she wrote a little blurb about moving on and called my husband a not so pleasant name. LOL.

All I have to say is, “Get a life!” ….WE DID.

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