Never claimed to be Mrs. Molly Homemaker


I can hold my own in the kitchen, I’m no Rachel Ray by any means but I have a few dishes that I make that leave people saying “mmmm that was good!”. I have cookbooks galore that I skim through occasionally for new ideas, an “PIN” yummy must trys on Pinterest daily and when I get control of the remote 9 times out of ten the channel gets turned to the Food Network.

In the past couple of months the hubby has given some rather “helpful” suggestions for making the my cooking process easier. “You should prep our meals for the week”, “While making dinner you should prep for tomorrows meal”, “Guy marinates his meats overnight, you should try that”. Although his suggestions were received with a smile I kindly reminded him that I will not be prepping meals ahead of time (been there done that) and he is always welcomed to utilize the kitchen to make meals anytime he wants. “You know I don’t cook, I just don’t know why you can’t do step A and B then C and D tomorrow” he said.  Although, I understood his point… but for a man who has pretty much survived on PB&J sandwiches and Oreo cookies before we were married he just needs to just sit on the couch and leave the cooking to me…..I don’t suggest easier ways to go about tending to our yard or claim to be Bob Villa, I know my place.


I’ve tried to explain to him that “prepping” meals isn’t as easy as it may sound, it takes time A LOT of time and I have tried this numerous times when the kids were younger but ….it just isn’t something that I enjoyed doing….BUT  if I knew that the pots and pans would be cleaned by him then maybe I would rethink the whole meal prepping idea.  We can all guess what his answer to that one was.

I know of families that prep their meals but they have children at home and a busy lifestyle where prepped meals make sense; but it’s just the two of us…. I just don’t see the need to prep meals.


I did “entertain” the idea of prepping our meals not so long ago and came across a couple of blogs that are all about this crazy idea……….It didn’t take me long to laugh out loud and say “OH HELL NO” especially when I saw the kitchen sink full of mixing bowls, pots and pans, but I kept reading …… skimming their weekly recipes and knew instantly that my hubby wouldn’t be down with a weekly rotation of ground turkey, chicken breast and ground beef….he would definitely question the little grainy things on his plate which I would later have explain what quinoa was and why it doesn’t really have any flavor.

“Honey you knew I wasn’t Molly Homemaker before we got married but I haven’t made you sick, your food isn’t burnt and you seem pretty pleased with your meals…but if your compliments about how good dinner was were just little fibs then you know where to find the Peanut Butter and Jelly …and the bread is over there”  I told him as I headed to the bathroom with the furkids to give them a bath.

mind you, it was late evening….about 8pm, yeah I have PLENTY of time to prep meals. 



I totally jinxed myself


I have come to the conclusion that I need to either switch from reading Sci-Fi fantasy-vampire-breed  books to a more entertaining chick flick genre, stop watching the first couple minutes of Ancient Aliens an hour before bedtime or both….because my night was riddled with crazy nightmarish dreams which included the scary ass clown from Stephen Kings IT; how that demonic clown webbed its way into my dream is beyond me because I haven’t watched that movie since I was a teenager!!

I blame myself….I sat there watching the intro to Ancient Aliens on the History channel, briefly listening to what the show was going to be about. Something to do with the Fiji Mountains, evil spirits and some other demonic beings who were thought to be aliens at one time or another, who knows but seeing glimpses of these creatures on my television screen for a few seconds made my decision quite easy. “I’m not watching this, it will give me nightmares”………..I totally jinxed myself!!

clownMy dream started with me being told that I was not to wander the town because someone was out to avenge someone’s death by killing me. From what I gathered I was the daughter of some big shot who did someone wrong therefore making my father pay by offing me (totally in the book I was reading but my dream didn’t involve vampires). I did as I was told; I stayed close to home … but one afternoon I saw a neighbor who I hadn’t seen in years so I went down to say hello, a minute later I see the barrel of a gun sticking out from the crack of the door aiming right at my chest. I heard three shots………then things went dark.  You would think that would have killed me….nope not in Jolenes Dream World, I woke up in a safe house somewhere deep in the country. Long story short… one bothered to check if “IT” resided there because after a few days of venturing out on my own to check out this compound that looked like a little city than housing for those that needed to be kept safe I started to see glimpses of this spooky clown…always baring his ugly sharp teeth.  The bizarre part of this dream was that in my DREAM I woke up and hours later I was telling a co-worker about my nightmare (everything I had just written), she then asked “do your dreams have an orange tint to them?”, I looked at her as though she had been smoking something potent “hmmm no, why?” I replied. “If you notice your dreams turning orange you are giving life to them”she said. Interesting.

That’s when I woke up for real, my heart racing …I glanced up at the clock “12:42” , I did my best to think happy thoughts as I cuddled close to the furkids before going back to sleep…those happy thoughts didn’t help. I was whisked right back into the land of IT. While I was wandering the woods I heard the laughter of a child (so I thought), but this laugh was more sinister…… I turned my head to see a little boy holding a doll, HIS CHUCKY DOLL….CHUCKY was laughing ( seriously I was waiting for FREDDY to pop up any moment) knowing this boy lost his way I grabbed his hand and walked him back to the safety of his home. 


This night long nightmare ended with me running into an old roommate of mine at a memorial service for those that died by the hands of the spooky ass clown, we decided to share a room and head back into town the next morning together. We were supposed to meet everyone who attended the service for dinner but fell asleep only to wake up with the eerily feeling that her and I were the only two alive and behind our door was our fate.

That’s when I woke up and decided that I had enough sleep, “I totally jinxed myself” I whispered. My subconscious had fun with me last night, digging deep and pulling out characters that caused me to keep the lights on when I was a young kid. Thank goodness E.T or the alien from Signs didn’t show up in my dream, the lights would be on indefinitely!!




Happy Birthday Lily



Our little Lily turned five today and before I left for work today I took a few pictures!!


She’s wanting to know where her birthday eggs and bacon are…..but that will be tonight along with her birthday muffins.



For the puppy muffins, I used vanilla pudding for the frosting.


Her son Dart wanted his picture taken as well …… but was fed up with the hat after awhile



Valentines Day ~ Random Act of Kindness


Yesterday, while we were on our way to an undisclosed location (my husband was keeping quiet) we stopped to get gas and this note along with a gift card was in the credit card slot at the gas pump.

We normally see this type of random acts of kindness or “pay it forward” gestures during Thanksgiving and Christmas….never Valentines day!

My husband handed me the note to read …. “This is such a great idea….there ARE still good people in this world” I said.

Thank you Miss Anonymous


In a pinch? I gotcha covered


Ok girls gather around …..

I’m not sure about you but my purse has everything in it but the kitchen sink, you need a safety-pin or a staple remover?  I got you covered.  I try to clean my purse out weekly but I always find a reason to keep certain items in there because , well you just never know when you may need to freshen up!

A little over a week ago my best gal pal, Dennine sent me a little something in the mail (belated birthday gift) and I needed to share these awesome treasures with you.

The first is called Pinch Provisions, this little silver mini emergency kit fits in the palm of your hand and is packed with 17 different items!! YEAH 17!!!


This set contains:
– Adhesive bandage
– Safety pin
– Earring backs
– Deodorant towelette
– Nail polish remover pad
– Stain remover pad
– Clear elastics
– Lip balm
– Emery board
– Tampon
– Hair spray
– Clear nail polish
– Dental floss
– Mending kit
– Breath freshener
– Double-sided tape
– Pain reliever

It’s now tucked away in my purse!!

The next item is from Too Faced it’s the Darlings Makeup Collection, it includes lip,eye and face primer, mascara, lip plump lip gloss.


I’ve been a loyal Benefit cosmetics user, but I gave these products a try and I’m hooked!!  plus ….they fit great in a side pocket in your purse, ohh and the lip gloss fits nice and snug in my little silver “in a pinch” case!!

Thanks De!!

Now…let’s talk about hair!

I’m a gal from the eighties and when I was young I teased…sprayed and teased some more it was all about height!!  I admit I never quite got away from the big hair, granted I’m not pulling a Snooki hairdo.I like some volume…..I feel extremely naked and a bit off if I leave the house without hairspray in my hair.

Last Sunday while at the salon the stylist asked if I wanted it styled….

“yes please and can you give it some volume? tease it a bit”

She smiled and totally understood my need for a little height…..because she was sporting a nice bouffant of her very own. Maybe it’s a Southern thing….I’ve heard “the higher the hair the closer to heaven” many times since moving to Arkansas. She went to her shelf and brought over a product that I never seen before, she told me it’s a powder that helps with volume and teasing.

“Can you see the powder? does your hair look like you have dandruff?”

She laughed and told me no….. “I’ve always used hairspray, I didn’t know there was a powder for teasing” I told her.

I watched her carefully ….. and I was very impressed with the result (sorry I forgot to take a picture) I had volume. I left the store with my little pink bottle.


I’ve been using this product for less than a week now and I had some hits and misses, meaning… will look like you have dandruff if you don’t rub it in or place it where it’s visible!! I actually have been combining this with another teasing product because, I just have more faith in hairspray!


I couldn’t be a farmer


Most of you who follow this blog know that I have grown quite fond of the cows that live down the street from me…..they are just cute, especially the little baby calves.

I can hear you saying  “did she just say cows are cute?” yes I did…. and no my house isn’t full of cow figurines.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from the hair salon I passed by the cow pasture and noticed that a momma cow was occupied with something, I slowed the car down and noticed it was a baby calf…..not as big as the ones I had recently photographed, I want to say this was a couple of weeks old(maybe). My heart dropped, from what I saw the baby was laying flat on the grass and the momma was licking her/him …..I assumed it had died. I turned my car around to look once more and I didn’t see the baby move….so I pulled into the farmers drive-way to alert them.

I tried with all my might not to break down right there, I knocked on the door and waited…finally an older lady in a floral moo-moo (no pun intended) came to the door. I told her that I thought one of her calves had died and that the momma was by its side.

“Honey I can’t do anything right now, I’m an old lady but one of the men should be back shortly…thank you so much for telling me”.

I walked back to my car and tears fell…..there was no way for me to bypass the momma and baby calf; I just drove right pass the cows and said a little prayer. I couldn’t stop crying, it was the saddest thing I ever saw…..I pulled into my garage, grabbed the groceries from the trunk and headed inside to be met at the door by my husband.

He looked confused….

I broke down “the baby calf is dead and the momma cow was right by it nudging it and licking it” I managed to say.

“I thought you were only getting a few things from the store” he said.

“I went  to the farmers house and told them….it was so sad, it was a white baby cow not one of the black ones that I took a picture of, it wasn’t moving” 

He stood there just staring….knowing that I was overwhelmed with what I saw.

I couldn’t stop crying ….. My fur kids looked confused as well, but knew that inside one of those bags was some treats so they didn’t leave my side.

My husband came into the kitchen and just hugged me….. I broke down, weeping, mumbling something about the momma cow and baby and how the farmer wasn’t there but his wife was. He just let me cry, he didn’t say anything ….. I was expecting him to say “death happens” or “they are just cows” but he didn’t, he just let me cry.  While in his arms all I thought about was how we had to move and that I needed a glass of wine but I knew both weren’t the right answer…….well, the glass of wine probably would have helped but moving would just be silly.

After awhile I sent a message to a dear friend telling her of what I saw. She felt my sadness because she also lives across from a farm and has witnessed a cows birth and to a baby calf dying……that’s when it hit me “maybe it was just born and the momma was nudging it to move, it was small enough”, but that thought was gone quickly and my heart just went out to the momma cow.


On my way into work this morning, I had to drive pass the farm ….seriously there is no way around it, well there is but I would be going way out of my way, but as I got closer I felt as though everything was ok on the farm, “it’s alive and it was just born” was the thought that came into my mind.

This morning as I was telling the sad tale to one of my co-workers….she said,

“Jolene, you have a soft heart …. you know he could have just been born and the mom was just licking him clean and nudging him to move” she said.

She may be right ….. and the comforting whispered “thoughts” that the baby cow is well eases my heart somewhat. Part of me wants to know the true fate of the little white calf but I am not sure if I can handle knowing……


Revenge by weight loss

I didn’t watch the Biggest Loser this season but from what I have read this morning this seasons winner, Rachel Frederickson made mouths drop due to her extreme weight loss. She went from being a size 20 to 0/2 and in my opinion I think she went a little overboard with trying to win this seasons title of the Biggest Loser!


I get it … I really do, shit if I was on National T.V and had to reveal how much I had lost, I’d probably wire my mouth shut, stick to a liquid diet, try some outrageous workouts and then purchase the best Spanx body suit so any remaining lumps wouldn’t be visible. Personally I give kudos to all those contestants that are brave enough to sport those hideous outfits week after week and step on a scale in front of all to see….I just cringe every time I have to step on the scale at my doctor’s office and sometimes will look away and tell the nurse that I don’t want to know how much I weigh.

The problem that I am having with our winner is what she claims to have weighed during her make-over.


“I started as a [size] 20 and now I’m a 0/2. I was a 6 during makeover week. It’s all about maintaining now!” she told Us

I’m sorry but I don’t believe Rachel (5’4) was a size 6 during the make-over show. She claimed to be 150 and a size 6…..well let me just say that I am 5’5 and a little less than 150 and there is no way in hell I could squeeze myself into a size 6, not even the best Spanx on the planet could manage that feat.

Yeah, I’ve been guilty of lying about my weight from time to time, especially at the DMV, but there would be no way I would tell all of America that I was a size 6 when indeed I wasn’t….pictures don’t lie….a size 10 would be believable a size 6 is a bit of a stretch.

I do hope that once all the excitement of her win dies down that Rachel has herself a nice tasty steak …..but for now I bet she’s basking in her win and secretly wishing that the man who broke her heart crawls back to her asking for forgiveness to only get told that he could go to hell!

Sometimes revenge by weight loss can be super sweet!!


The man in plaid

Figure-in-church-doorway (1)

A few months ago …..

I slowly woke up and tried to focus on the clock that was across the room, the clock read 2:13am. Instead of laying in bed I figured since I was up I would get a glass of water and use the bathroom but instead of using the master bathroom (so I wouldn’t wake my husband or the furkids) I decided to use the guest bathroom which was in the living room. As I made my way to the bedroom door  (which was only opened a crack to allow the dogs to go in and out as they pleased) I grabbed the knob and proceeded to walk through the doorway ….. I froze because standing right in front of me was a tall fairly built man in a red/black plaid flannel shirt. In those brief seconds I felt no fear, I was just startled because the last thing I expected to see standing in my doorway was a figure of a man.  You would think I would yell, scream, pee my pants …something…..but all that came out of my mouth was a whispered “oh my gosh, don’t do that”  and then he was gone.

Now, don’t get me wrong  if I walked out of my room and almost ran into a man who was peeking in my doorway I would have screamed my bloody head off. In this case, I knew he was a spirit …… as I walked to the bathroom my heart was still racing but I tried so hard to replay what had just happened.  Part of me hoped that I didn’t offend the man in plaid and wondered if he was as startled as I was? Who was this guy……someone just passing by, a deceased relative, a guide? then I grew frustrated…why did I have to look so startled?

I never did tell my husband about our visitor because he doesn’t believe in ghosts and to tell him that I almost ran into one in our home would just start a debate that I really would rather not go into with him.  Granted I did tell him about a couple of incidents that involve my deceased grandfather but honestly I don’t think he paid much attention to the stories…’s just something that isn’t discussed, his beliefs are his and mine are mine.  It makes me wonder if I ever told him the story about the ghost I saw up in the Canyon in California, probably not….haha.

The man in plaid has never showed himself to me again but I still wonder from time to time who he was.

Walking on Sunshine


Last Thursday as I was trying to recover from my chocolate cake coma, I received a message from Mark Bialczak stating he nominated me for the Sunshine Award,  “What a way to start off my birthday weekend” I thought to myself as I maneuvered my way over to his blog to see what the Sunshine Award was all about. “The award is given to those who  positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere” it stated.  Do I inspire others in a positive and creative manner? …well sometimes I hope so, but sometimes I just shoot for a smile. Thank you Mark for this awesome award!!

Directions for you to accept the award

To accept the award, the awardee must do the following:

1. Display the award on your blog.

2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.

3. Present 10 deserving bloggers “who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere.”

4. Link to the awardees and let them know of the nomination.

5. List 10 interesting things about yourself.


Ten things about me…..I’m not sure how interesting or creative this will be, it IS Monday!!

1.  Insomnia is kicking my lumpy forty-year old ass!!   Going on 3 hours of sleep …can’t wait for my head to hit the pillow tonight.

2. I am determined to step outside my comfort zone and introduce myself to the farmers across the street from me….because one of the cows just had a calf and it’s the cutest little thing ever and what an awesome post that would make. Up close and personal with a baby calf and it’s mommy.

3. I’ve lost 18 pounds since October….trying for ten more.

4. I’m a bookaholic

5. I’m rooting for the Seahawks to win the Superbowl

6. I have a secret mini girl crush on Little Miss Lola ~ but who doesn’t, she’s awesome.

7.  When I’m stressed or biting my tongue to keep me from saying something stupid, I pick at my nails or skin around them until it hurts. (my daughter noticed this past weekend….she gave me the look)

8. I saw a ghost in our house

9. My two favorite shows are The Big Bang Theory and The Andy Griffith Show

10. I am so proud of my children.


The ten bloggers who positively and creatively inspire ME in the blogosphere are :












Staying true to myself


Last night I slept, I slept better than I had in days…maybe weeks. I woke up around one in the morning recalling a dream that I just had, “I fell asleep” …I closed my eyes, snuggled up closer to the hubby and without hassle I fell back to sleep. I woke up refreshed … no sign of a headache, I was ready to tackle my day.

It had seemed as though writing about what was troubling me helped tremendously, but why was I so surprised this time?  Writing has always been therapeutic to me, writing is what I know …… sharing or venting to a friend has helped at times but when I write I feel as though I can express myself more clearly without interruption. It’s my feelings, my truth, my hopes, my life… in black and white.

I made a decision when I started Valley Girl Gone Country not to hold back, or to allow someone to dictate what was deemed appropriate…that type of restraint left me feeling bogged down and trapped, yes there are times that I have had to change a name just to protect the person that I am speaking of, there have been moments that I sat in front of my computer screen ready to hit publish but had second thoughts because maybe it was too raw…too personal…too me, but you know what?  I had to get pass that. Throwing myself under the bus or sharing idiotic situations will happen, because well…….sometimes life brings you idiot moments..right?

When I am blogging about my life here in the country or sharing experiences of my past….there are times that to some it may come across very personal, for example “Love Doesn’t Leave Bruises” It’s my attempt to reach them (them meaning friends/family) and I have exhausted my efforts every other way, I’ve talked to them until I was blue in the face, I’ve dumbed it down for them, I’ve pulled the emotion out of it, emailed…but I know they read this blog, I also know they read your comments. I know in time something has to click.

I watched the first episode of Blood, Sweat and Heels this past weekend and honestly I wasn’t too impressed, but one of the cast members is a blogger, Demetria Lucas and boy oh boy did she get some of those girlies panties in a bunch just by writing her truth, her observation from a brunch she attended. She wasn’t going to let them bully her into silence, she was going to write what she knew…..not even a calculated dinner to bamboozle her and tear apart her posts broke her. She stayed classy. She remained true to herself.

All in all I will remain true to myself and Valley Girl Gone Country. I’ve shut down one too many blogs and went into blogging hibernation because of other peoples opinions but I can’t do that anymore.

* You have the choice to read or not to read. I am not forcing that hand*

and when I say that I am staying true to myself this has nothing to do with me refusing to accept becoming forty  in a couple of days…..I will be 39 again and again and again.