Not even icy roads can keep me from chocolate!

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I kept peeking out the window in hopes that all the ice that covered the street had miraculously melted during the time that I was in the shower. No such luck, my craving for brownies was beginning to frustrate me. It wasn’t so much the brownie itself that I needed….I needed that yummy chocolate batter. This was as close to any sexual frustration that I have ever felt but there was no toy, no chocolate substitution that could take this edge off but that dang Pillsbury Funfetti Brownie mix.

I had an idea ….

I cornered my hubby in the hallway and gave him one of my flirtatious  “I have a proposition for you” looks.

“Soooo, I was wondering something”  smiling as I twirled a strand of my hair.

“Yesssss” he said.

“If you take me to the store to buy brownie mix I’d make it worth your while later” as I brushed my hand  against his cock.  “You don’t even have to change, I just need you to drive me …. the roads are too icy for me to drive”.    He laughed and headed to the garage, next thing I heard was him start up the car.

Who knew it could be that easy…..but he wins either way, he gets brownies and a little somethin somethin later on!!

So, yes……. I made brownies, thanks to my hubby who maneuvered his way through icy side streets to get me to the store. I also think he knew I was getting a bit stir crazy and needed to get out even if it was just for twenty minutes.

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And yes……I licked that spoon clean, along with any chocolatey goodness that was left in the bowl.

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Honoring Aleasha Billing

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As parents we do our best to keep our children safe, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard my kids tell me  “MOM, I’m not five I don’t need you to watch me cross the street” or “MOM, I’m not a baby anymore I’m 15!!”, sometimes as much as we want to wrap them in bubble wrap to keep them from harm or keep them within arms length of us, we just know that THAT is an impossible feat as they get older.

In 2011 as I was checking  Facebook I noticed that an old schoolmate posted some sad news regarding another classmate of ours and his family. The day after Thanksgiving, Mike and Carrie Billings 16 year old daughter, Aleasha was struck by a car while walking across the street with her sister and a cousin (who were unharmed)  and was now unconscious, on a respirator with a severe head injury and fighting for her life.

For everyone, no matter how upset you are, tell your children you love them. Never take the children for granted,” said Carrie Billing. “Always take the opportunity to give them a hug and tell them you love them because you never know.”

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My heart broke for this family, I couldn’t imagine the pain they were feeling. Aleasha underwent many surgeries in the last two years but never recovered. She passed away in late January due to complications after another brain surgery. A couple of weeks ago a link was being sent through Facebook regarding Aleasha, one of her nurses decided to help the Billings family in hopes to ease the mountain of medical bills, funeral expenses and other costs that were to come.

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I thought I would share this link with all of you in hopes that you can pass it along, if you would like to help the family they would forever be grateful.

Aleasha Billing’s nurse and friend raising money to help her family with medical costs/memorial since the death of this beautiful girl.

Aleasha Billing was full of life until one tragic day in November 2011. She was struck by a vehicle as she was walking home. She fought for a little over 2 years and had seemed to be making some progress. Tragically, her fight ended 2 weeks ago after having yet another brain surgery. She received her angel wings and returned home to God. Her family is having a difficult time in dealing with the death of their child….a parent’s worst nightmare!! I am trying to help the parents to take care of the mounds of medical bills, out-of-pocket funeral expenses and a memorial in Aleasha’s honor. Please support the fight to take care of our children and possibly keep this from happening to another innocent!!

Give Forward

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Happy Birthday Lily

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Our little Lily turned five today and before I left for work today I took a few pictures!!

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She’s wanting to know where her birthday eggs and bacon are…..but that will be tonight along with her birthday muffins.

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For the puppy muffins, I used vanilla pudding for the frosting.

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Her son Dart wanted his picture taken as well …… but was fed up with the hat after awhile

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Hilarious First Date Story

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Have you ever read something that was so funny that it left you in tears? I came across a story about a woman talking about a first date; what started off as a sweet and totally romantic evening turned into extreme horror…..it’s pretty much every girls nightmare. Flatulence.

Girls… we have all been there, we eat a little too much during dinner, we fall victim to sharing a desert with our date ( or partner), any stomach gurgles get ignored because you think you have plenty of time before you have to use the bathroom……and then it hits, normally when you are in a passionate embrace or sitting quietly in his car staring into each others eyes……..that sharp gas pain. Your eyes start scanning the proximity for a restroom, you start thinking of ways end the date without having to tell him the real reason why you need to cut the date short, beads of sweat start to form….he assumes the sudden glistening on your face is because of him not because you have a war brewing in your stomach.

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Take a moment and read The Fart That (almost) Altered My Destiny and then come back here!!

~you’re welcome~  ….take a breath, wipe those tears!!

It was worth it wasn’t it?? I bet you passed on that story to all your girlfriends and co-workers right?…if not don’t you think they deserve a bit of laughter?

Do you have any horrific dating stories? 

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt : With or Without You

I’ve given a few ultimatums in my day but I wanted to share one that was given to me about four years ago.

Mr. Crazy (2nd husband,divorced, but at the time we were living together) was in one of his jealous rages and no he wasn’t jealous of another man or my time spent with friends …he was jealous of my furkid, Lily.

“It’s either me or the dog, choose one”  he spat.

I laughed. Does he really want me to answer that truthfully? no one in their right mind would give such an asinine demand but again he wasn’t in his right mind, come to think of it… he was probably off his meds.

He threw out the ultimatum again, “It’s me or the dog !!!!” I looked straight at him and said, “I choose Lily”.

The look on his face was priceless, he was shocked. “You would choose a DOG over me?” he said angrily. “She’s not just a DOG, she has been with me through thick and thin…..and your ultimatum is the silliest thing I have ever heard, you are jealous of Lily!”

He thought the way he felt was truly valid but he was told by our therapist that being jealous of a dog was just crazy and that the ultimatum he tossed out was not only immature but stupid.

Come on look at this face …… you’d choose her too!!

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Thankfully, my husband loves Lily and the rest of our furkids…. he spoils them rotten with love, attention and many beggin strips.

To view other Daily Prompts please visit : With or Without You

And I wrote to you

In the spirit of Valentines day I wanted to share a collection of letters written by a man who is writing to the woman who stole his heart. For anyone who has loved, for anyone who has experienced heartache, for anyone who is a hopeless romantic you need to take the time to read this blog….start from day one.

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Day 1.

Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I am not a writer. I am but a man, fallen far from grace. I am not handsome nor am I the charmer. But I can love, just as I loved you.

Even though you are far from me now, I find it hard to imagine life without you. But I will try. God knows I will. But I will never forget. For it took me 72 months to find you, truly did I find myself.

So I will keep writing. Just as I wrote to you, for everyday that I waited on you, for as long as it takes.

Yours Always,

Mark

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Revenge by weight loss

I didn’t watch the Biggest Loser this season but from what I have read this morning this seasons winner, Rachel Frederickson made mouths drop due to her extreme weight loss. She went from being a size 20 to 0/2 and in my opinion I think she went a little overboard with trying to win this seasons title of the Biggest Loser!

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I get it … I really do, shit if I was on National T.V and had to reveal how much I had lost, I’d probably wire my mouth shut, stick to a liquid diet, try some outrageous workouts and then purchase the best Spanx body suit so any remaining lumps wouldn’t be visible. Personally I give kudos to all those contestants that are brave enough to sport those hideous outfits week after week and step on a scale in front of all to see….I just cringe every time I have to step on the scale at my doctor’s office and sometimes will look away and tell the nurse that I don’t want to know how much I weigh.

The problem that I am having with our winner is what she claims to have weighed during her make-over.

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“I started as a [size] 20 and now I’m a 0/2. I was a 6 during makeover week. It’s all about maintaining now!” she told Us

I’m sorry but I don’t believe Rachel (5’4) was a size 6 during the make-over show. She claimed to be 150 and a size 6…..well let me just say that I am 5’5 and a little less than 150 and there is no way in hell I could squeeze myself into a size 6, not even the best Spanx on the planet could manage that feat.

Yeah, I’ve been guilty of lying about my weight from time to time, especially at the DMV, but there would be no way I would tell all of America that I was a size 6 when indeed I wasn’t….pictures don’t lie….a size 10 would be believable a size 6 is a bit of a stretch.

I do hope that once all the excitement of her win dies down that Rachel has herself a nice tasty steak …..but for now I bet she’s basking in her win and secretly wishing that the man who broke her heart crawls back to her asking for forgiveness to only get told that he could go to hell!

Sometimes revenge by weight loss can be super sweet!!

 

Our post Anniversary/Christmas Branson get-away

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I have been looking forward to this weekend for months, just getting away with my husband is always nice but normally it’s to Oklahoma to visit his family…..now we were headed to a place that was new to both of us. My co-workers had given me a few ideas, places to go….things to see, my boss actually told me about the place that we were going to be staying at. “You need to stay at the Chateau on the Lake during December its beautiful”, she didn’t have to convince me, one look at the website and I was sold….as well was the hubby “if that’s where you want to stay then book a room”. I was totally on it!!

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The hotel was not only beautiful on the outside it was absolutely breathtaking inside; from the decorations….garland hanging from railing to railing, Poinsettias everywhere you turn, beautifully decorated Christmas trees, stunning gingerbread houses and overlooking the falls was the prettiest nativity scene that I have ever seen……. ohhhh and Santa was there, just “hanging” around!

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Chateau on the Lake falls 1          Chateau by the Lake Santa           Chateau on the Lake view from 5th floor

Once we settled into our room and walked around the hotel taking in its beauty we headed into town. That’s when the fun began…well more  like “the shopping” began. We found a cute little shopping center called “The Grand Village” it was just adorable and oozed Christmas ………..I LOVED IT!!

“Honey….go shop, find some Santa’s to add to your collection, remember this is part of your Christmas present”

I left with 3 Santa’s and a cute plush penguin……and although things were on sale I spent I think over $200 on my new Christmas items, but he gave me that wink of approval.

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Next on our agenda was to see the Dixieland Stampede Christmas dinner show, all I can say was it was AMAZING!! I didn’t expect to cry but I did…more than once, the falling snow…..the story…..and yes they sang Silent Night which brings on the waterworks every time!! We weren’t allowed to take pictures so if you ever get the chance to see the show, please do …. and go on an empty stomach because they load you up on food!!

As we exited the show we walked by all the beautiful horses that were part of the show…..I saw one of the performers with his horse in the stall and what I saw just filled my heart with so much joy. He looked into the horses eyes said thank you and gave his horse such a loving hug….and not just once, three times. Just thinking about it gives me chills. It was just so sweet to see how much he appreciated his friend!

On Saturday we slept in till 8am, this is something my husband NEVER does…..he’s always up by 5:30 no matter what day it is. Once we were dressed and ready to start our day we headed downstairs and had a tasty breakfast and then it was off to see the Titanic museum, my oldest daughter told me that when she went it took her four hours to go through but she is a Titanic fanatic, it took us two hours. Next on our list was to go to Silver Dollar City which is an amusement park, not quite like Disneyland or Magic Mountain….it had a very old-time Knotts Berry Farm feel. While we were there we went on their steam sing a long train ride which at one point during the ride the train slowed to a stop and “Grandpa” told us the story of the birth of Christ….as he began the story; silent night played in the background and I was in trouble…..my eyes began to water…..”Jolene, think of something…sing something…..jingle bells jingle bells…shit, that’s not working….where are my sunglasses….uhhh I can’t cry, not on a train ride” I said to myself. I felt my husband take my hand and heard him sniffle…. it was getting to him too. Needless to say, you wouldn’t get this at Magic Mountain or Disneyland….Grandpa rocked it!!

We decided to take in a show and saw “It’s a Wonderful Life” …. it was either that or the Dickens Christmas Carol and I am glad we choose to see what we saw, I have always loved this story so to see it in person was just amazing. …………….after the show we were greeted by a sight that would take anyone’s breath away. There were Christmas lights everywhere…..on every building….on every tree!! I was in Christmas heaven!! They say there are five million lights through out the park!

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SDC lights 1               SDC lights 2

SDC lights 5                SDC lights 6

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We stayed until the place closed…..we never changed into the thermals that we brought with us, I don’t know why….I think I was in that place where I didn’t care, the beauty in front of me was so overwhelming that the falling temps (30 degrees) didn’t bother me until we were in line to get on the bus to take us back to our car. Once back in our room, I think it only took me a few minutes snuggled up in bed to whisk off into dreamland……next thing I know it was morning and that meant that it was time to go home. I was ready though, we both missed the furkids and boy did they miss us…………..we were welcomed home with wet sloppy furkid kisses!!!

It was a wonderful weekend ……….. and to top it off, the Packers kicked some Bear ass!!!

(ok barely, but we won and that’s all that matters)

He had me going all day~ Our One Year Anniversary

The hubby really had me going all day on Saturday, as I mentioned earlier he got me a package of toilet paper for our one year anniversary…..the man missed his calling, he should have been a comedian.

During the day he stayed in his PJ’s while watching college football, I did a few things around the house and read a book…..it was very relaxing, around four he looked over at me and said:

So what do you want to do for dinner….I wouldn’t mind having tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich?”

Seriously?? grilled cheese sandwich and soup?? I kept my frustration at bay…and remembered that we are going out of town in a few weeks to really celebrate our anniversary.

“Well, I thought we were going out to dinner….but if you would rather stay in we could”

“No, we can go out ….where do you want to go?”

“How about you choose, considering I always pick”

He got up off the couch, gave me a kiss and told me to be ready in a little bit.

I started curling my hair….. “I wonder where we are going, uhmm what should I wear?” I headed into the bedroom to ask him but noticed that he was sitting on the couch, still in his sweatpants and t-shirt watching football.

I didn’t say anything, I just came to terms with the fact that he really wanted to watch college football, so soup and grilled cheese would be on tonight’s menu.

5:20 pm 

I noticed the time and I was getting a little hungry…..the hubby stepped outside to have a smoke so I went into the kitchen and started frying up some bacon to put in his grilled cheese sandwich and placed the soup on the stove to warm up.

“What are you doing?”  he said.

“Making dinner….I just figured since you haven’t showered that you decided that we should just stay in”

“I told you we were leaving at six”

“Hmmmm, you never told me a time ….at four you said we would be leaving soon”

“We are leaving at six….so you may want to get ready” 

I finished up frying the bacon and then headed to the bathroom to freshen up, you know….make-up, hair, a spritz of pretty perfume. I still didn’t know where we were going so I was waiting to see what he was wearing before I changed.

He ended up wearing something other than jeans so I knew we weren’t headed to Chili’s so I put on something nice and gave the furkids a kiss good-bye.

Still being left in the dark regarding our destination, I figured from the direction we were heading that we were having dinner in Little Rock….which was a nice change. 35 minutes later we found ourselves trying to find a parking spot in downtown, I knew now that he was going to take me to one of my favorite restaurants, Ristorante Capeo….it’s a bit on the pricey end but it’s romantic and the food is divine.

“Ohhh no, I don’t think we will be able to get in without a reservation” I thought to myself. He opened the door of the restaurant and said;

“Are you surprised?”

“Yes…I am, but we may need a reservation”

“Honey, I made the reservation two weeks ago and made sure to get the little heart table in the corner..you know the one we sat at the first time we came. I told them it was our anniversary” 

He had this planned all along….the tomato soup/grilled cheese suggestion was just a rouse.

As we sat down at the table, I looked at him lovingly ….

“You’re such a romantic…I can’t believe you planned to take me here all along….what would of happened if I told you earlier that I wanted to go to Chili’s?”

“I would have told you that I didn’t want to go there” 

Our meal was scrumptious and the tiramisu that we shared was everything that I remembered, yummilicious!!! I got up to use the little girls room and when I made my way back to the table I noticed that he had gone outside to have a smoke, but on the table was a box wrapped in gold paper with a little red bow on top.

My heart melted….

I picked up the box and mouthed to him from the other side of the window

“Honey….really? oh my gosh…can I open it?”

“YES” he said with a smile.

I unwrapped the box, pulled out the little box from inside…..I opened it up and I didn’t know what to say…I was speechless. It was a beautiful diamond heart necklace.

“It’s beautiful…I love you” I mouthed to him …

“I love you too” 

Once he came back inside, I gave him a big kiss……

“Happy Anniversary Honey” he said.

“Happy Anniversary Dear….I love you”

Honey, my ass thanks you!

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They say that for your first anniversary the traditional gift is paper…. my husband took this info and ran with it! 

This morning as I slowly made my way into the living room I noticed a grocery bag laying on the coffee table with an envelope sitting on top of it …..hmmmmm, confused and still waking up I went and grabbed his neatly wrapped present and laid it next to the bag.

“Happy Anniversary honey, go open your present” he said.

“Couldn’t wrap it?”

“You know me, when have I ever wrapped anything?”

I opened up the envelope and read the sweet card…..then I picked up the bag, looked inside and pulled out a package of toilet paper.

“Really? Toilet paper ?” I said confused.

“The first year anniversary present is paper” he said laughing.

He had sent me flowers earlier this week so I knew this was a gag gift…..but part of me didn’t like the joke.

“Well, my ass thanks you…….now open your present”