House Divided: A fellow blogger needs some helpful advice…….

house

Earlier this week I wrote about an ultimatum that I was given regarding my furkid, Lily….my post resonated with a fellow blogger who is currently going through a similar situation. After reading her email I felt her pain and asked her if I could share her current dilemma with you all in hopes that she can get the encouragement, wisdom and strength that she so needs.

download

Clara is married, has 3 children under the age of ten and lives in a quaint suburban neighborhood. Back in October of last year they decided to add to the family and adopt a dog, I will call him Fido. Fido was less than a year when they got him so he still had those puppy tendencies.

This was the families’ first pet (besides the occasional fish) and it was a major adjustment for everyone, but mostly Clara who took on all the responsibilities that come with owning a dog. As the weeks went on, her husband grew irritated with Fido…he never allowed himself to bond with him. She assumed this was because he never had any pets growing up, where she had. She knew there was a problem when she had to go out of town for a couple days due to her job and her husband refused to take care of Fido while she was gone.  “You will need to kennel him or find someone to watch him” he told her. He didn’t want the responsibility of caring for this bundle of cuteness while she was gone…..knowing that  kenneling the pup would be costly and her tight wad of a husband was now making things difficult with her regarding Fido, she told her employer that she wasn’t able to attend the conference.  She also thought maybe the best thing she could do was give Fido back to the family who adopted him out because of all the tension that was brewing at home….she called the family and they were more than happy to take him back. She changed her mind 2 days later.

A month ago Clara noticed that Fido wasn’t acting right and took him to the vet; after many tests and several Xrays it was determined that Fido had several objects (toys,hairband) in his stomach and surgery was necessary. $1200 later Fido was recovering.  While he was under the watchful eye of the vet, Clara was home being made to feel as though Fido’s incident was her fault, her husband demanded that she get rid of the dog and that she owed HIM $1200. (You heard me, she owed him)  She was beyond stressed and beside herself, she tried to sell things to pay her “debt” back to her husband, there was no reasoning with him at all, a day didn’t go by that he didn’t send her into a tearful mess…..just his crude words and cold heart towards this pup baffled her. He made her feel guilty for wanting to get together with her friends for her birthday stating that she still owes him $1200 and how they can’t afford it.  (They have money).

Tension just grew between them, she knew he was being unreasonable but talking to him was like talking to a brick wall. He claimed he never wanted a dog and only agreed to shut her up…..she didn’t know what else to do so she called the previous family to see if they would take the dog back, they agreed. The thing is they live in Texas and can’t get him until sometime in March. Clara was broken hearted, cried daily…this little furkid was her baby, she loved him.

Clara told me that she got the courage to talk to her husband about everything …. He claimed that he never told her to get rid of him, granted he never spoke those words his actions spoke loud and clear. She thought maybe she could go back on her word  (again) with the previous owners but her husband still refused to have anything to do with Fido if she had to go out of town and the money issue would never be dropped. She then blamed herself because she knew he wasn’t going to own up to his coldness towards this whole thing.

“What do you think I should do?” she asked.

I went over what she sent a couple times; we exchanged a few emails just so I could  get the full story. I finally told her that:

1. She shouldn’t have to OWE her husband anything. She’s in a marriage not a business, they both work and financially contribute to the household and that it was their decision to bring Fido into the family. Granted, if he never wanted a dog this should have been addressed….he shouldn’t have just gave in to “shut her up”.

2. I told her that I didn’t understand why he isn’t willing to take care of the dog when she is required to go out of town to attend seminars for her job. She shouldn’t have to kennel him … she should be able to count on her spouse to take responsibility for their four-legged furkid, plus would the cost of kenneling him be tacked on to the debt that he claims she owes him?

3. I also told her that the issues with the dog are just the icing on the cake…..there has to be more. She needs to find her voice in that marriage because in my opinion she doesn’t have one, not really. When finances are concerned he can buy what he wants (2 laptops in a mth….computer time/games) and come up with a valid reason for these non-budgeted items but when she needs something “its not in the budget”  is what she hears.

4. I told her that she can’t go back on her word again with the previous family who had Fido, they are looking forward to having him back…..plus it’s not like her husband is going to change his mind…..any unforeseen expenses with be HER FAULT, the tension will STILL be there, he isn’t going to change. Plus, Fido needs a yard to run in, he needs a family that will love him completely.

My heart breaks for her…..I can’t imagine being in her shoes right now.

Please feel free to leave your comments for her here…… she will read all of them!!  Thank you  🙂

Advertisements

Happy Birthday Lily

bday3

 

Our little Lily turned five today and before I left for work today I took a few pictures!!

bday2

She’s wanting to know where her birthday eggs and bacon are…..but that will be tonight along with her birthday muffins.

bday1

 

For the puppy muffins, I used vanilla pudding for the frosting.

bday5

Her son Dart wanted his picture taken as well …… but was fed up with the hat after awhile

bday4

 

Daily Prompt : With or Without You

I’ve given a few ultimatums in my day but I wanted to share one that was given to me about four years ago.

Mr. Crazy (2nd husband,divorced, but at the time we were living together) was in one of his jealous rages and no he wasn’t jealous of another man or my time spent with friends …he was jealous of my furkid, Lily.

“It’s either me or the dog, choose one”  he spat.

I laughed. Does he really want me to answer that truthfully? no one in their right mind would give such an asinine demand but again he wasn’t in his right mind, come to think of it… he was probably off his meds.

He threw out the ultimatum again, “It’s me or the dog !!!!” I looked straight at him and said, “I choose Lily”.

The look on his face was priceless, he was shocked. “You would choose a DOG over me?” he said angrily. “She’s not just a DOG, she has been with me through thick and thin…..and your ultimatum is the silliest thing I have ever heard, you are jealous of Lily!”

He thought the way he felt was truly valid but he was told by our therapist that being jealous of a dog was just crazy and that the ultimatum he tossed out was not only immature but stupid.

Come on look at this face …… you’d choose her too!!

lily

 

Thankfully, my husband loves Lily and the rest of our furkids…. he spoils them rotten with love, attention and many beggin strips.

To view other Daily Prompts please visit : With or Without You

What did he just say?

“You’re just pleasantly plump”  he said in a cutesy little voice. I was mortified and by the look on Lily’s face so was she.

“Should I give her less to eat? I only sprinkle a little bit of cheese on her food and make her eggs on Sunday….it’s those dang Beggin strips huh? it could just be her winter coat”, Lily stood there looking violated as I was giving the vet excuse after excuse justifying her extra weight gain.

“No no she’s fine, she’s healthy but she shouldn’t gain anymore weight” he said.

“Hear that Lily?” she was ignoring me …. she was pouting….I didn’t blame her, I’d be pissed to if I was told that I was “pleasantly plump”.  She was only 20 pounds but she did gain 2 pounds since the last time she was there…..but I blame in on winter weight gain we all store up for winter right?

Later that day it was Darts turn to visit the Vet for his annual shots…..

“Dart…let’s get you on the scale” the vet assistant said.

“Come on Dart….stop being stubborn”

He resists going on the scale just like his Mommy does (me) …haha…I pick him up and the assistant and I blocked him from walking off the scale.

“20 pounds…..ok, the doctor will be with you in a minute”

No sooner as she leaves the vet comes in …..

grrrrrr” Dart says in a low growl.

“Dart, knock it off its the doctor”

I place Mr.Wanna Be Rott on the table while the Vet admired him,

“What a handsome boy you are, he’s 20 pounds!! ….you are all muscle, cute under bite……he’s so healthy”

“so his weight is ok?”

(because earlier you called his mom pleasantly plump and they are the same weight…is what I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut)

“ohhh yes, he’s very healthy”

Needless to say, Mr. Muscles and Miss Pleasantly Plump got Beggin Strips and some extra lovin when they got home because they had to get shots.

Baby, it’s cold outside!

Not sure about you but we were pretty much stuck inside the house since Thursday night because of some wicked winter weather….the furkids were in for a rude awakening the next morning when they had to go outside to take care of their “business” only to be greeted with a layer of ice beneath their paws. Lily turned her little furry bottom around and walked back inside and Dart looked a bit confused, I could only imagine what he was probably thinking “WTF is this? what happened to my yard?”

I knew I would have to brave the cold with them, so I bundled up and prayed to God that I wouldn’t slip!!

“Lily, Dart …..please go potty….Mommy is freeezzzzing”

Finally they were headed  back towards the door…..slipping and sliding trying to get their footing. It was the funniest thing ever!!

****

I would have thought that I would have been bored out of my mind being stuck in the house for 4 whole days but the hubby and I kept each other entertained …..and warm.  🙂

I read a few books …..

I made brownies ……had an overwhelming craving for chocolate!!

Played fetch with Lily I swear a hundred times…..played hide and seek aka “find mommy” with the furkids a few times.

and by Sunday evening they were WORE OUT!!

meandfurkids

Lily, you have mouse breath!!

images (4)

In the last couple weeks I have found a few dead mice in our yard, without squealing like a little girl while Sami (our cat) looks at me for praise….. I smile, pat her head while mumbling something on the lines of “Good girl Sami, now I appreciate the kind gift but a gift card would be better than a dead rodent” . I wait till she goes into the house before I grab the shovel from the shed, scoop the furry vermin up and hurl him through the air back into the woods .

Late last night around 9pm, my husband took our furkids outside to go to the bathroom. I walked outside shortly afterwards, I noticed that Lily and Dart were sniffing in one specific area……I assumed they were tormenting a frog with their wet noses ….BOY was I wrong, I wish it were a frog.

“Lily come here”, I demanded. Dart came instead. I walked over to Lily to see what she was so interested in….. “Lily what do you have?”. Miss Little Diva raised her head and in her mouth was a mouse and not a tiny itty bitty mouse, this mouse had some meat on its bones.

“Oh my gosh, LILY GET THAT THING OUT OF YOU MOUTH THIS INSTANT” I squealed like a little girl. “Spit it out, DROP IT!” I demanded.  She drops it back on the grass and looks at me like “whats the big deal you praise Sami”.  I went back inside, grabbed the flash light…..marched out to the shed to grab the shovel. Dart was right beside me, he’s my shadow….plus he loves chasing the light from the flash light…crazy pup!!

As I walked back to where the mouse laid, Lily ran straight towards it and without hesitation she put’s it back in her mouth. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING LILY….YOU’RE A GIRL!! PUT THE MOUSE DOWN RIGHT NOW!” . Sami comes sauntering over, looks at Lily almost saying “Really? you think SHE thinks you killed it? Yeah right” and walks away …plops down on the cement and starts cleaning herself, never giving Lily or I a second glance.

I scooped that sucker up with the shovel, managed to secure the flashlight in my hand so the light shined on the furry “hopefully dead” mouse and walked on over to our fence.

Honey, make sure it doesn’t run up the handle and on to your arm” my funny husband yells out.

“Funny…ha ha ha”

Honey, make sure you toss the mouse OVER the fence and not INTO the fence”

This man has jokes…..

I placed the flashlight down and with a good heave hoo that mouse went flying over the fence.

Once back inside, I grabbed Miss Lily and a wash cloth and wiped her mouth clean and gave  her a little bit of peanut butter. There was no way I was going to smell mouse breath all night long while she lays next to me……….peanut butter is bad enough but I will take that over mouse breath any day!!

lily

This is Miss Lily

The Versatile Blogger Award

Last week, Girl, Intoxicated  nominated me for the Versatile blogger award….I was beyond excited to get this award!! If you haven’t check out her blog you need to…like, right now. Go ….I’ll wait….hmmm, I told you I will wait.

See……… you’re  a fan already!!

versatile-blogger

These are the rules for The Versatile Blogger Award –

  • Display the award certificate on your blog
  • Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you
  • Present 15 deserving bloggers with the award
  • Link your nominees in the post and let them know about their nomination with a comment
  • Post 7 interesting things about yourself

The 15 bloggers I nominate for the Versatile Blogger Award are :

1. Life everyone has one

2. 1 year of Single   (just another sign from the universe that you did the right thing)

3. Life with Lorelai

4. Delighted by life   (now eat some chocolate and celebrate)

5. Kissing a Fool

6. Belle of the library

7. High Heels Off

8. Molly Greye

9. A Newlyweds Journey

10. About a girl

11. Lisa Johnson Sawyer  (now you can test out what I showed you..haha)

12. Fat bottom girl said what

13. Life…a work in progress

14. Aly Hypothesis

15. Mums the word

 

Now the seven interesting things about me …. hmmmm….

1. I make a kick ass Manicotti

2. I’m right handed

3. I actually love coming to work

4. I actually got kinda sad when I found out Charlotte died, she stayed around for a month….her beautiful web untouched. This is the FIRST and last spider that I will get attached to…NEVER thought I would feel bad for a spider but I did….it’s probably because I named it. (yes I buried her, no I didn’t put her in a box…in case you’re wondering)

5. I’m a loyal friend

6. I make my husband lunch 5 days out of the week ….I’ve never did anything like this before…I was more like the type that would say “you have two hands make it yourself”….but not when it comes to him……he’s my world….urgh….I know. I know.

7. I’m a huge fan of the Shamy

TBBT_amyspank

I’m a sucker for doggy costumes.. Yes, I am one of THOSE people!!

Last month when I ventured into PetSmart I was beyond excited at the costumes that stood in front of me, I picked out costumes for my furkids, Lily and Dart and thought that was the end of it…………until yesterday.

On my lunch break I stopped into PetSmart to get Lilys favorite bones but then I got distracted…I couldn’t believe the new costumes that now lined one of the aisles. Snow white, Cinderella……..Minnie Mouse and Micky !!!  They were just too cute so of course I left with 2 costumes. YES I KNOW………they already have costumes……..but i couldn’t pass these up and I’m not going to return them. I will just be prepared for next year!!

Now, I know Halloween is a month and a half a way but I am left with the decision of what costume they will end up wearing…..decisions decisions.

Lily  ………….. Lady bug or Minnie Mouse

PhotoGrid_1379025899729

Dart ………. Frankenstein or Monkey

PhotoGrid_1379025827097

What do you think ??? What’s your favorite??

Before you even think “ohhh I can’t believe she dressed her dogs up, she’s so mean” well, they enjoy it….really…seriously….Lily loves her dresses and Dart just plays along!!  hahaha

20130912_172645

Lily striking one her many poses!!

 

20130912_172144

A view from the top

 

20130912_172336

Something obviously has their attention

 

20130912_172315

Dart was getting bored …..

 

Where’s Jolene? …..she’s over there with the cat

3d19b2625777b9164302afd4031d308b

I have always been told that I don’t socialize much or that I need to be more talkative when I am around a group of people, but I have always been the type that stands back and scopes the crowd before diving into a conversation that I may know nothing about. The last thing I want to have happen is to be asked my thought on a certain topic and stand there with a dumb expression on my face with nothing to say. I have no desire to look like one of those clueless pageant girls that can’t answer a question intelligently. Like when Miss Upton from South Carolina was asked why she thought one-fifth of Americans can’t locate the United states on a map and she replied :

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, in South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

Knowing my luck I would be asked about some government mumbo jumbo and I would have to wing it or just use the “Hey do you know where the bathroom is?” excuse. My problem isn’t that I am anti-social my problem is the fear of what people may think of what I have to say. I know, I know….I shouldn’t give a rats ass about someones opinion and I’m working on that.

I have been put in settings where I am at a party and groups have been formed…….With a glass of wine in hand I look around, smile, nod and do the “ohhh wow that’s interesting”.  I often get a nudge by the hubby to go over and talk to different groups but I’m not one to barge into someones conversation. I foresee someone looking at me and saying  “this is an A B conversation C your way out” (total flashbacks of grade school). I know this would never happen but you never know. I am also not one to jump into a conversation with a group of new mommies talking about late night feedings,diapers and the newest breast pump on the market………..I’m way passed that. Find me a group of people who are talking about raising teenagers, dealing with bad break ups, crazy exes, being single, reality t.v shows and being a newlywed a 3rd time than I’m your girl!!!

There have been times that I have found myself  gravitating towards the animals that are vying for attention. I can be content …. enjoying the party, watching people get loaded by the hour, while me and Fido look on and shake our heads.

I can remember countless conversations that I have had with men from my past having an issue with my shyness. “You need to make more friends, you need to socialize…..I have more friends than you! ” they would say.  This was never a contest to see who can make more friends and just because someone may have over 400 friends on Facebook doesn’t necessarily mean they are your “Friends” ….. there’s a difference.  “Out of your 400 “friends” if you were stuck in the middle of an ice storm and needed someone to come get you, how many of your “friends” would come out to save your ass?” I stared on waiting for an answer…….silence.

Now….I know some of you maybe saying “she doesn’t seem shy here….she sure has a lot to say in her blog”……well yeah that’s true but if we were in a crowded room and I didn’t know you then I would be the little shy girl in the corner with a glass of wine in her hand looking for a stray cat to pet.