A bittersweet birthday weekend


Thursday seemed more like my birthday then my actual birthday which was Saturday, my co-workers spoiled me rotten with a delicious chocolate cake, lunch of my choice…. which was McDonalds, a hilarious card and a few gifts. I was also pleasantly surprised when I got an edible arrangement from my father. I admit his gesture did leave me a bit perplexed because my father doesn’t do things like this…..the message didn’t say “Happy Birthday”, just “Hope your “big day” goes well” from Daddy Jack.  No Love Dad, No Love Mom and Dad….just from Daddy Jack. Ok….well the gesture was nice and quite yummy.  Later that evening my daughter Ann finally arrived and I was not only relieved that she was home but that she arrived safe and sound…..although no parent wants to hear “I almost fell asleep a couple of times while I was driving” and when I heard those very words spill out of her mouth I made a mental note to give her my Starbucks gift card before she headed back to Nebraska on Sunday.

KittyFriday was a long day ….. I took our newest furkid, Penny (the stray kitty) to the vet only to find out that she is 22 days pregnant, “congratulations you are going to be a grandma” the vet assistant said as she gave me a picture of the ultrasound. I looked down at the picture and the only thought that I had was “Holy Shit, how am I going to deliver this news to hubby”.  The Doc came in and discussed several options…. “she’s still early along in her pregnancy that we can spay her still, just don’t wait too long”….he must have seen the look on my face because the subject just wasn’t something I wanted to think about….”I will have the nurse come in with some estimates”. Ok.   —– Long story short, Hubby made the decision to have her spayed, there was no debate or argument…it was just how it was going to be. I called the Vet and made the appointment (and made it clear that it wasn’t my choice, they knew) he took her in this morning.

Later that day we made the trek to Oklahoma (five hour drive), we were meeting up with his family to see his ailing mom. It broke my heart to see the sadness in my husbands eyes when he held his moms hand and whispered a sweet message in her ear …but instead of breaking down, I stayed strong…for him. Once his brothers arrived at the nursing home, I made certain that they were left alone with her…… my daughter Ann decided to make friends with some of the elderly ladies that were on the same wing as momma, one in particular really took to my daughter….her name was Lola and for the next couple of days when we went to visit momma….Ann made her way to Lolas room to spend some time with her. Ann really has a gift……the compassion and love she has for people is just amazing. She’s certainly not shy but she never was …haha…she just has always had this knack for striking up conversations with strangers.  After visiting with Momma, we joined the rest of the family for dinner at a steakhouse and boy I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into a good tasty steak and dive right into a fully loaded baked potato….see my ass has been on a diet for a couple of months, my goal was to lose 20 pounds by my birthday….I was 3 pounds shy of meeting my goal but I rewarded myself that night!!

This was the only picture taken of me this weekend. I would have smiled if I knew I was being photographed. :)  this is me and my niece playing a game on my phone.....Ann is busy texting her boyfriend and the hubby is yapping about something.

This was the only picture taken of me this weekend. I would have smiled if I knew I was being photographed. 🙂 this is me and my niece playing a game on my phone…..Ann is busy texting her boyfriend and the hubby is yapping about something.

Saturday (my 40th bday) morning I woke up expecting to see a head full of gray hair but when I looked at myself in the mirror all that came to mind was “fuzzy wazzy was a bear” my hair for some reason lost all its curl from the night before and now was a frizzy mess…….my curling iron and straightener were at home, 5 hours away so I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and did my best to calm the frizz.

I thought I would hear a “Happy Birthday” out of my husbands mouth when we first woke up….but I was wrong. It came an hour later in a mumbled tone…… I kept telling myself that it wasn’t about me today, well not while we were in Oklahoma, we would celebrate my birthday later in the evening when we got home.  We headed to the nursing home and spent a couple of hours with Momma, she opened her eyes a bit but that was all……I knew family would be coming by shortly so I gently washed her face, combed her hair, put lotion on her face and hands and spoke to her like she could hear us. After our visit, we joined the rest of the family for breakfast, made one last trip to the nursing home and headed home…..5 hours later we were back in Arkansas  (7 pm) , we decided to go to Anns favorite restaurant  here in town which has a huge seafood buffet and although I can’t stand seafood, we went because she doesn’t come out here often and plus it put a smile on her face…….so while the two of them ate shrimp, crawfish and other fishy food I had the salad bar and a few things that weren’t seafood related that was on the buffet. I just knew once we got home I could have a large slice of chocolate cake……so I was saving room for my desert.

Once home we were welcomed at the door by some very excited furkids, boy did I miss them!  when they were settled and fed, I checked my phone and saw that there was a voicemail from my parents…..I hit play expecting to hear both of them wishing me a Happy Birthday, but it was just the voice of my dad saying Happy Birthday.  It didn’t surprise me at all that I didn’t hear the voice of my mother saying “Happy Birthday”  along with my dad, that’s her…..she has her reasons for being who she is. It pretty much showed me that I made the right decision to forgo the Hawaii trip. Ok….it sucked, I had hopes that this year would be different…..I was hoping to take baby steps towards mending our very broken relationship, but who am I kidding. I knew better…..it made sense why my moms name wasn’t on the special delivery I received at work on Thursday from my dad.

I put my phone away and headed to the kitchen to devour a slice of cake…..and once that piece of heavenly goodness touched my tongue, I wished myself a Happy Birthday ….the only thing missing was a nice glass of wine to wash down the chocolaty desert.

I’m calling Santa on you


“Do not open your gift until you call me first”, this is something my children know to do when they get something in the mail from me and as of yesterday I thought my sister knew that to….. I mean I DID tell her to call me.

For me,  it has something to do with hearing them struggle to get all the duct tape off the box, tearing into their neatly wrapped gift …to then hear a bunch of “ohhhhs and ahhhhs” followed by “ohhh myyy goshhhh thankkkkk youuuuu”. I would close my eyes and I would instantly see their beautiful smiles as I continued to hear their excitement about what they received.

I sent a text message to my sister yesterday afternoon telling her that her Christmas present was set to arrive later that day and to call me before she opens it.

“Ok I will” was her response.

In my head I had it all planned out…. she would call me……while she fought to tear off the crazy amount of duct tape I used to seal the box, then she would find a cute Christmas box addressed to her inside and as she picked it up out of the box she would left the lid and see a brand new Coach purse, then as she was in the middle of her “ohhh and ahhs” I would tell her to check the side pocket……and when she did she would see two little Pandora charms; a little sis charm and a snowflake charm.

This isn’t how it went down.

While I was working I was interrupted by the theme song of “Friends”,  it was my sister calling ….. her box must have arrived …. now it was time to hear her reaction.

“Thank you ….ohhh my God Thank you for my present!!! I can’t believe you got me a Coach purse”

“You opened your gift? I told you to call me” I was annoyed…more so then I should have been but I was tired.

“Yeah, I’m sorry but I got excited” she said nonchalantly

I was glad that she liked her present but I was bummed that she didn’t call first.

“Did you look in the  pocket?”

“No?? why”

(fighting back the annoyance)

“This is why I wanted you to call me …… look in the pocket”

“Ohhh cool, I have more charms to put on my bracelet. I can’t wait to tell Phil about my purse!! ”

“I wished you would have called me first, I sent you a message and you even replied that you would” …..

“I just got overwhelmed when I saw the box, haha”

“I’m calling Santa on you”

We spoke for a couple of minutes longer and then I had to let her go, but before I put my phone down I texted my daughter Ann quickly. “WHEN YOU GET YOUR PACKAGE, PLEASE  CALL ME BEFORE YOU OPEN IT”.

“OK” she replied. I knew I didn’t have to worry about her though…..just like I didn’t have to worry about Marie (her sister) when her Christmas present arrived a few days ago.  “Mom I think something broke inside the box?” Marie had said…. “Haha, no it’s fake snow, the box must have flipped over in transit”.



This is the box I sent Marie’s gifts in, I placed a bunch of fake snow at the bottom of the box and placed her presents on top, I wanted to give it a Christmasy feel!! …..I think what she got was a snowy mess but she LOVED it and that’s all that matters.

Thirty-six ….and no that’s NOT my age


36 as in thirty-six more days till Christmas, urgh….I haven’t even started Christmas shopping yet , have you?? every year I tell myself that I need to get a jump start on Christmas shopping but I never listen to myself and I always find myself buying things at the last minute or finding more things to throw in the kids stocking. I can’t do that THIS year because my children and I won’t be together this Christmas…….Scott and Marie will be in California celebrating with their father and Ann will be spending Christmas with her boyfriend in Nebraska.

It will be a little sad not having them around but I knew that eventually they would grow up and celebrate Christmas with their loved ones. So…….instead of presents under the tree and stockings filled with candy and trinkets I have to fill up a box that hopefully, when they get it will give them a little sense of home. Moms home.

While at Hobby Lobby I wasn’t sure if I should buy them stockings and fill them up with goodies or just send them gift cards, but that’s just not ME……….I can’t JUST send them gift cards for Christmas!! When they open their box they need to feel Christmas, but I don’t want them to be disappointed either.

~remembering when I was their age and I got some Christian mints and a bible~

I want to be creative ….. but yet not cheesy. Maybe I will spend some time on Pinterest tonight and come up with some cute ideas…..it’s not as easy as it use to be when they would supply me with a Christmas list and I would carefully budget around making Santa come out on top once again!!

…………and aside from the kids I have to think of something to get the hubby and even though I have a few things in mind, I keep hearing “I don’t want anything….it’s not about the presents”.  Last year we didn’t give each other anything because we got married and we were moving…well I was moving. The furkids did get him a few things but that’s because it would just feel weird (to me)for him not to have something to open on Christmas morning…..but what to get a guy who pretty much has everything?  ~ he did mention something to me the other day about me dressing up as a slutty little elf, I wonder where I can get a slutty little elf costume?

Urgh…..that reminds me, the furkids!!  Lily HAS to get a new Christmas dress and Dart needs a cute Santa outfit!!  Maybe if Sami cooperates she will let me put a Santa hat on her and I can get a group photo of them!!

Yep!!! my nephews have the best Aunt ever!!! ~ ME


That’s right I rock!!! well according to my nephew who totally LOVED his “belated” birthday gift that I sent him. I picked out an awesome gift that I knew deep down  he would enjoy….well I crossed my fingers and toes in high hopes that he would love it!!

I didn’t want to buy him any Marvel Comic or Star War figurines plus between him and his brother they probably had enough to fill up Gotham City ten times over!!  and I couldn’t see buying this boy more bay blades, I still have no idea what they are and why he finds these small noisy things entertaining. There was no way I was going to buy him a video game because he spends too much time already playing those games……………..so I thought a fun board game would be a great gift!! one that would make him think, one that would stir up those creative young juices and be entertaining!!

This picture says it all ….. plus my sister told me that he played with it last night and brought it down first thing this morning!!!