I couldn’t be a farmer


Most of you who follow this blog know that I have grown quite fond of the cows that live down the street from me…..they are just cute, especially the little baby calves.

I can hear you saying  “did she just say cows are cute?” yes I did…. and no my house isn’t full of cow figurines.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from the hair salon I passed by the cow pasture and noticed that a momma cow was occupied with something, I slowed the car down and noticed it was a baby calf…..not as big as the ones I had recently photographed, I want to say this was a couple of weeks old(maybe). My heart dropped, from what I saw the baby was laying flat on the grass and the momma was licking her/him …..I assumed it had died. I turned my car around to look once more and I didn’t see the baby move….so I pulled into the farmers drive-way to alert them.

I tried with all my might not to break down right there, I knocked on the door and waited…finally an older lady in a floral moo-moo (no pun intended) came to the door. I told her that I thought one of her calves had died and that the momma was by its side.

“Honey I can’t do anything right now, I’m an old lady but one of the men should be back shortly…thank you so much for telling me”.

I walked back to my car and tears fell…..there was no way for me to bypass the momma and baby calf; I just drove right pass the cows and said a little prayer. I couldn’t stop crying, it was the saddest thing I ever saw…..I pulled into my garage, grabbed the groceries from the trunk and headed inside to be met at the door by my husband.

He looked confused….

I broke down “the baby calf is dead and the momma cow was right by it nudging it and licking it” I managed to say.

“I thought you were only getting a few things from the store” he said.

“I went  to the farmers house and told them….it was so sad, it was a white baby cow not one of the black ones that I took a picture of, it wasn’t moving” 

He stood there just staring….knowing that I was overwhelmed with what I saw.

I couldn’t stop crying ….. My fur kids looked confused as well, but knew that inside one of those bags was some treats so they didn’t leave my side.

My husband came into the kitchen and just hugged me….. I broke down, weeping, mumbling something about the momma cow and baby and how the farmer wasn’t there but his wife was. He just let me cry, he didn’t say anything ….. I was expecting him to say “death happens” or “they are just cows” but he didn’t, he just let me cry.  While in his arms all I thought about was how we had to move and that I needed a glass of wine but I knew both weren’t the right answer…….well, the glass of wine probably would have helped but moving would just be silly.

After awhile I sent a message to a dear friend telling her of what I saw. She felt my sadness because she also lives across from a farm and has witnessed a cows birth and to a baby calf dying……that’s when it hit me “maybe it was just born and the momma was nudging it to move, it was small enough”, but that thought was gone quickly and my heart just went out to the momma cow.


On my way into work this morning, I had to drive pass the farm ….seriously there is no way around it, well there is but I would be going way out of my way, but as I got closer I felt as though everything was ok on the farm, “it’s alive and it was just born” was the thought that came into my mind.

This morning as I was telling the sad tale to one of my co-workers….she said,

“Jolene, you have a soft heart …. you know he could have just been born and the mom was just licking him clean and nudging him to move” she said.

She may be right ….. and the comforting whispered “thoughts” that the baby cow is well eases my heart somewhat. Part of me wants to know the true fate of the little white calf but I am not sure if I can handle knowing……



11 thoughts on “I couldn’t be a farmer

  1. you very well might ride by and see the little white calf!! sometimes it take a few to get them going. I jsut bet you!! Ride by real slow….OF COURSE…you can always take your white and black fur babies and see what happens.. lol. They will come a’runnin then!

    Sa-weet jolene!

  2. I’d rather know a big ‘softie’ than someone who doesn’t give a damn Jolene. Glad to know a Valley Girl who has her heart in the right place. And the calf will be fine, they usually lay there for a bit until they get their bearings, they then try to stand up, and then mam’as milk! 🙂 By the way, your crying means you are dealing with something within and allowing yourself to process it, and heal. Most hold it in and twist it inside somewhere so that it bobs up later and causes a crisis later. So it has been a big day, a birth, a worry released and a healing! All from a pack of groceries down the road! Wonder what would happen if you went on a trip! 🙂 Namaste

  3. This is so touching. A soft hard is not a bad thing. It shows you care and are moved by the world around you.

    I used to cry at the drop of a hat when I was pregnant. Adverts on the TV. Everything. 😉 x

  4. Gawd! I’ve just realised that comment makes it sound as if I know something. I didn’t mean you! Well, not unless you’ve got something to tell us all. 🙂 Just the way it came out. 🙂 x

  5. I could only skim this once I realized what it was about – so I could see if it had a happy ending. I just can’t handle sadness to animals, it destroys me… I am feeling your pain over this…

    • Adrea…..I have a feeling that the little calf may have just been born. My “country” co-workers told me that the moms gestures that I saw her make towards her calf was as if she had just gave birth to it. Well………..the other day when I was driving home, I saw 2 little white calves. I am hoping one of them was the little calf that I thought was dead. ~heres hoping~

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