A bittersweet birthday weekend

cake

Thursday seemed more like my birthday then my actual birthday which was Saturday, my co-workers spoiled me rotten with a delicious chocolate cake, lunch of my choice…. which was McDonalds, a hilarious card and a few gifts. I was also pleasantly surprised when I got an edible arrangement from my father. I admit his gesture did leave me a bit perplexed because my father doesn’t do things like this…..the message didn’t say “Happy Birthday”, just “Hope your “big day” goes well” from Daddy Jack.  No Love Dad, No Love Mom and Dad….just from Daddy Jack. Ok….well the gesture was nice and quite yummy.  Later that evening my daughter Ann finally arrived and I was not only relieved that she was home but that she arrived safe and sound…..although no parent wants to hear “I almost fell asleep a couple of times while I was driving” and when I heard those very words spill out of her mouth I made a mental note to give her my Starbucks gift card before she headed back to Nebraska on Sunday.

KittyFriday was a long day ….. I took our newest furkid, Penny (the stray kitty) to the vet only to find out that she is 22 days pregnant, “congratulations you are going to be a grandma” the vet assistant said as she gave me a picture of the ultrasound. I looked down at the picture and the only thought that I had was “Holy Shit, how am I going to deliver this news to hubby”.  The Doc came in and discussed several options…. “she’s still early along in her pregnancy that we can spay her still, just don’t wait too long”….he must have seen the look on my face because the subject just wasn’t something I wanted to think about….”I will have the nurse come in with some estimates”. Ok.   —– Long story short, Hubby made the decision to have her spayed, there was no debate or argument…it was just how it was going to be. I called the Vet and made the appointment (and made it clear that it wasn’t my choice, they knew) he took her in this morning.

Later that day we made the trek to Oklahoma (five hour drive), we were meeting up with his family to see his ailing mom. It broke my heart to see the sadness in my husbands eyes when he held his moms hand and whispered a sweet message in her ear …but instead of breaking down, I stayed strong…for him. Once his brothers arrived at the nursing home, I made certain that they were left alone with her…… my daughter Ann decided to make friends with some of the elderly ladies that were on the same wing as momma, one in particular really took to my daughter….her name was Lola and for the next couple of days when we went to visit momma….Ann made her way to Lolas room to spend some time with her. Ann really has a gift……the compassion and love she has for people is just amazing. She’s certainly not shy but she never was …haha…she just has always had this knack for striking up conversations with strangers.  After visiting with Momma, we joined the rest of the family for dinner at a steakhouse and boy I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into a good tasty steak and dive right into a fully loaded baked potato….see my ass has been on a diet for a couple of months, my goal was to lose 20 pounds by my birthday….I was 3 pounds shy of meeting my goal but I rewarded myself that night!!

This was the only picture taken of me this weekend. I would have smiled if I knew I was being photographed. :)  this is me and my niece playing a game on my phone.....Ann is busy texting her boyfriend and the hubby is yapping about something.

This was the only picture taken of me this weekend. I would have smiled if I knew I was being photographed. 🙂 this is me and my niece playing a game on my phone…..Ann is busy texting her boyfriend and the hubby is yapping about something.

Saturday (my 40th bday) morning I woke up expecting to see a head full of gray hair but when I looked at myself in the mirror all that came to mind was “fuzzy wazzy was a bear” my hair for some reason lost all its curl from the night before and now was a frizzy mess…….my curling iron and straightener were at home, 5 hours away so I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and did my best to calm the frizz.

I thought I would hear a “Happy Birthday” out of my husbands mouth when we first woke up….but I was wrong. It came an hour later in a mumbled tone…… I kept telling myself that it wasn’t about me today, well not while we were in Oklahoma, we would celebrate my birthday later in the evening when we got home.  We headed to the nursing home and spent a couple of hours with Momma, she opened her eyes a bit but that was all……I knew family would be coming by shortly so I gently washed her face, combed her hair, put lotion on her face and hands and spoke to her like she could hear us. After our visit, we joined the rest of the family for breakfast, made one last trip to the nursing home and headed home…..5 hours later we were back in Arkansas  (7 pm) , we decided to go to Anns favorite restaurant  here in town which has a huge seafood buffet and although I can’t stand seafood, we went because she doesn’t come out here often and plus it put a smile on her face…….so while the two of them ate shrimp, crawfish and other fishy food I had the salad bar and a few things that weren’t seafood related that was on the buffet. I just knew once we got home I could have a large slice of chocolate cake……so I was saving room for my desert.

Once home we were welcomed at the door by some very excited furkids, boy did I miss them!  when they were settled and fed, I checked my phone and saw that there was a voicemail from my parents…..I hit play expecting to hear both of them wishing me a Happy Birthday, but it was just the voice of my dad saying Happy Birthday.  It didn’t surprise me at all that I didn’t hear the voice of my mother saying “Happy Birthday”  along with my dad, that’s her…..she has her reasons for being who she is. It pretty much showed me that I made the right decision to forgo the Hawaii trip. Ok….it sucked, I had hopes that this year would be different…..I was hoping to take baby steps towards mending our very broken relationship, but who am I kidding. I knew better…..it made sense why my moms name wasn’t on the special delivery I received at work on Thursday from my dad.

I put my phone away and headed to the kitchen to devour a slice of cake…..and once that piece of heavenly goodness touched my tongue, I wished myself a Happy Birthday ….the only thing missing was a nice glass of wine to wash down the chocolaty desert.

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10 thoughts on “A bittersweet birthday weekend

  1. Happy birthday, Jolene. You were the best, giving up the weekend so hubby could visit his ailing mom. Turn your face sideways … there, you just got a birthday kiss on the cheek from Syracuse.

  2. Happy Birthday Jolene! You gave from within by supporting your husband at this time. That is a true giving, unselfishly! And he seemed a little sidetracked under the circumstances. A little later he may come round and surprise you with a more heartfelt and grateful hug for that support. And maybe a belated surprise for your birthday…just because you are who you are! Namaste

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