At first I thought my gloominess was due to taking down all my Christmas decorations and saying good-bye to them for another year, I attributed my silent moments to just missing my children because this was the first year that we weren’t together for the holidays. It wasn’t until my husband and I were driving up to Branson Missouri when it finally hit me, “Shit, I’m going to be forty in a couple of weeks could this be why I’ve been in a funk?”.
I really didn’t expect for the gray gloomy age cloud to set in, I was ready to embrace this new age bracket with a smile……but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. I put down the sun visor, looked in the mirror “I don’t look forty, I don’t feel forty, I don’t have wrinkles and that strand of gray hair will last for about a minute longer” I said to myself.
I tried to think of all those that I knew that were forty and fabulous……and wondered if they went through a mini meltdown when the BIG 4 0 crept up on them? I know that I was a mess for days before I turned THIRTY….I’m not lying, I cried…..I mourned my twenties…..I got a tattoo, yep a tattoo….while others would party it up, drink, go on a sex binge, I got a tattoo. I seriously don’t know why I was having such a horrible reaction, my twenties sucked!! I should have been happy to turn thirty and as the day approached I welcomed the day with the flu “Happy 30th Birthday to me”. (sad face)
Once my husband and I finally made it to Branson we decided to grab a bite to eat….I knew I had to some how pull myself out of my funk, because I couldn’t have this gray cloud hanging over me this whole weekend.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking….”
He looked up from the menu “anxiously” awaiting to hear what was going to come out of my mouth.
“So to bypass this birthday bug and to keep the funk away I’ve decided that since 39 was a good year that I will do it again. I don’t FEEL forty, I don’t LOOK forty, I don’t have wrinkles, so there’s no need for me to turn forty!” I said with a smile.
“Well, we have a problem…..I bought a huge billboard sign going into town that says “Happy 40th Birthday Jolene”
“Then change it….you can edit it” I played along.
“So it will be your 1 year anniversary of your 39th birthday again?” he said.
“Glad that you’re on board, I feel so much better” we laughed as we ate our lunch.