Things my mother never warned me about

Between my sister and I, I’m the oldest. There have been many times throughout my thirty nine years that I wished that I had a big sister  (or a sane mother) who would give it to me straight regarding life and all its ups and downs, to tell me about the many “Prince Charmings” that would come my way and how to protect my heart from their fraudulent ways, to tell me to keep true to myself and never become a doormat and that it’s ok to cry.

As an adult there have been many moments where I would think “shit, thanks Mom for telling me” vowing to always make sure my kids would never have to utter those very words in their adult life.

Here are a few things that I have shared with my daughters (22 and 19) in recent years.

Use sunscreen, don’t use baby oil to tan you will see the damage the sun did to your skin many many years later. The sun is not your friend.

Arm jiggle it’s for real… day while you are brushing your hair you will see it, it will be waving back at you.

Pasta and bread ARE NOT our friend… will attach to your hips and some how make you gain 10 pounds overnight! We were not as lucky as my sister who has remained a size 4  all these years!!!

Follow your gut, yeah that nagging voice in your head-the voice of reason follow it. Sometimes you will try and negotiate with yourself….making excuses why you shouldn’t listen to your gut, but let me tell you……you will learn the hard way if you don’t.

Guys (some) will portray to be everything you want them to be at first but once they know they have you in a blink of an eye the man that was once about the “Iove yous” and being by your side turns into someone you don’t even recognize. Romance,sex, I love yous are no more …. he shuts you out, his friends and video games are more important …..when you bring this up, he will accuse you of wanting to change him or that it’s all in your head. It’s not in your head…..he’s the one that decided to go all Jeckyl and Hyde not you.

Don’t lose sight of your own passions, remain true to yourself!

If you feel he lies to you, call him out on it.

Men will break your heart and you may think you can’t go on without him……but you can. Grab some ice cream, put on your favorite movie and make a list of all the things that irritated the hell out of you when it came to him, pretty soon you will have two pages of red flags….and you will realize you are better off without him. (this totally works).

It’s true…..when the right one comes in your life, YOU WILL KNOW!!  He will show you that just because you may have a little spat he still loves you and isn’t going anywhere. He will show you love like no other. He will not change after he knows he has your heart……you will never have to doubt his love.

Experience life ….. travel, have fun, make your bucket list and knock some of them out before you have children. Make everlasting memories…you are still young!!

Women can be catty ….. it’s ok to have a few close friends. The amount of friends you have doesn’t measure your worth as a person….I would rather have 3 really close friends than 400 facebook friends that could really careless if I couldn’t fit into my favorite pair of jeans!!

Relationships are tricky….it’s best not to start one with blinders on. Those rose colored glasses, take them off!! Don’t make excuses for his temper…or if he physically or mentally abuses you, what you are with is NOT a man but a coward and a bully. You deserve someone so much better.

Do NOT under any circumstances have any of your exes play matchmaker, this will only end badly!!  They may say they are ok with setting you up with an acquaintance or friend but that’s not the case.

Learn to change your own tire, check your oil and always carry a blanket, water and a tool box in the trunk of your car.



35 thoughts on “Things my mother never warned me about

  1. Jolene, YOU are amazing.
    I would say, you have learned a life time of life lessons…without the stronger upper hand. And though you learned on your own, you learned WELL. And look at you….look back at your lessons to pass on to your own…
    Most mothers would not have taken the time to see this through……you are nothing less than full of…grace.

    • Lisa…Lisa….Lisa, I’m not THAT amazing hahaha….. just learned the hard way and I if I can shed a little “motherly” advice then I’ve done my job. The kids father/stepmother always would tell me that I’m more of a best friend type to them, which was not true. I just wanted to be the type of mother that I always wished that I had growing up.

      I think Santa brought me an early Christmas gift….. you are like the older sister that I never had and always wished for. You do set me straight….give me that Southernly sister advice….and you let me cry when I need to. Thank you!!!

        • Hi Suzie!!! I’m doing great….very busy lately, which is always good!! We are preparing for some awful weather coming our way ….hubby “Mr.Weather Channel man” has given me a list of things to get at the grocery store…hahaha….I think he thinks we are going to be under 15 feet of snow…..not going to happen….but I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry…right?

          Hope all is going well with you 🙂

  2. These are all fantastic pieces of advice, I wish I’d known when I was a teen and in my early 20’s. However, I do think men can change (for the better) but only if they are really willing to and also love you to bits! Great post!

  3. You’re completely right. But there’s also a weird thing that happens where people are not what they seem and gut instinct short circuits. Has this ever happened you? But it is usually only a temporary black out. Someone important to me seemed distant and self-obsessed when I first met him–turns out he was just shy and introverted. My gut instinct finally kicked in and told me to stick around… 🙂

    • I’ve had several “short circuit” moments hahaha….. but more times than none, I thought they were genuine but it turned out they were not so genuine and I was the fool in the end…eventually that little voice pops up and says “see i warned you”.

  4. About “Men will break your heart” — So true. Ladies, believe in yourselves. We men are neanderthals and in most cases don’t deserve you.

    I’d like to add to the last one on the list: Always carry jumper cables in your trunk and know how to use them. The battery in my wife’s car died in the driveway (luckily not on the highway somewhere) recently, and I gave her a lesson in jump-starting a car battery. She now has her own jumper cables and knows how to use them.

    Jolene, this post is why you’re my hero. You are quite the sage.

  5. Pingback: Son….some girls are just CRAZY!! | Valley Girl Gone Country

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