I’m no Simon Cowell but I WILL judge your costume!!!

Over the years I have noticed that I have become somewhat“judgy” when it comes to handing out Halloween candy….I am no where close to the lady in Fargo, ND who has chosen to hand a child (whom she deems obese) a note instead of candy.

See, I have rules ……

If your costume is creative/adorable or damn right awesome = 2 pieces of GOOD candy (snickers…twix….etc)

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If your costume is ordinary (I understand that the parents were too lazy to throw some paint on their face or check PINTEREST for ideas) = 2 pieces of candy …the candy that I don’t like (anything peanut butter/almond joy)

NO EFFORT

NO EFFORT

NOW THIS is a ghost costume

NOW THIS is a ghost costume

If a family comes up and are in some sort of themed costume such as superheros or cowboy/cowgirl/rodeo clown = 3 good pieces of candy …..if you bring your dog and the pooch is dressed up, the furkid will get a doggy treat and possibly a lot of unnecessary high pitched “ohhh my gosh how cute his he/she”.

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If you stroll up pushing a stroller with your newborn or child under the age of  9 mths = one piece of candy and a look like “really?? I’m not an idiot….this candy is NOT for your child…cheap ass

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If you come up sporting a costume resembling Miley Cyrus or your regular every day clothes  = the bowl of candy suddenly will disappear and I will tell you “sorry I’m ALL out”

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12 thoughts on “I’m no Simon Cowell but I WILL judge your costume!!!

  1. I’ve been a cow for 18 years now using the same costume I bought then. It’s in great shape still! The later it gets and the drunker I am I get more “mad cow disease” like or something like that. Nevermind.

  2. I one time had a handful of teenage boy trick or treaters, who were asking for extra cigarettes! That’s when it’s time to close down shop!!:)

  3. Pingback: This Month’s Jaw-Drop Comments « Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy.

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