I need to buy a simple coffeemaker or better yet, I will just stay away!!

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In the last 24 hours I’ve realized two things; one.. I can’t make fried chicken and two, I failed at making coffee twice this morning. …..actually I failed at operating that dang multi-button coffeemaker that I bought my husband last year.

Yes, I know I can hear all of you now…..especially you, Lisa!!  “Are you telling me you can’t operate a coffee maker?” ………. Calm down………. in my defense I don’t drink coffee on a daily basis and if I am craving my skinny vanilla latte I have Starbucks make it for me. I have never really owned a coffeemaker and when I did, it was my husband who bought himself one ten years ago (when we were first dating) which over the years I got rid of because it was just taking up space….but I ended up buying a nice one when he came back into my life.

Well, this morning I thought since he had the day off that I would make him coffee. How hard could it be? Pour some water in the machine……scoop some coffee grounds in and push a button right? ohhhh, no….it’s not that easy especially when I attempt this ten minutes after getting up and in the dark; the only thing giving me light was the nightlight by the doggy dish.  As I poured the water in…..the water poured right out…. “What in the world”……I turned the light on and I didn’t pour it in the right spot. URGH….I grabbed a towel and started again.

I made sure all the lights were on….I poured the water in, scooped the coffee …..pressed the green button. I felt great…any minute now my honey would be walking into the kitchen to the smell of freshly brewed coffee….meanwhile I fed the furkids and something told me to check the coffee. I looked up and noticed coffee was spilling ALL OVER THE FLOOR………. “What in the world, shit…shit…shit!!!”   I didn’t have time to figure out what I did wrong, I unplugged the damn thing…moved everything off my coffee/tea bar and cleaned up the mess. I was praying that my hubby wouldn’t come in and see me with a handful of coffee stained towels and a mess on the floor. Seriously, I wouldn’t hear the end of it…..the jokes would probably not stop coming for days.

Once the mess was cleaned up, I wasn’t going to attempt making coffee for the 3rd time ….. plus I still had to get ready for work and I had 15 minutes before I had to leave. Just then my furboy decided to throw up his breakfast inches from my feet. “GREAT…JUST GREAT” …. I said to myself while comforting my little furboy.

With less than a minute to spare, I went into the bedroom to say goodbye to my husband  “Honey, I attempted to make coffee but failed miserably…I don’t know what happened, but coffee was all over the floor….it’s cleaned up so don’t worry”.  It’s not like I would have left him a huge mess to clean up….so I don’t know why I said for him not to worry.  “How did you do that?” he said, “I have no idea…really I don’t”.  I know he was trying to wrap his head around what had taken place while he slept….. “so you don’t remember what you did wrong?”…. “No, I just know that I had good intentions but failed miserably”.

We said our good-byes…….and he headed to the kitchen to make coffee and I headed to work but treated myself to a Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte, because after the morning I had…..I deserved it!

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7 thoughts on “I need to buy a simple coffeemaker or better yet, I will just stay away!!

    • a co-worker said “his ass should have been up making you breakfast since it was his day off”….. i agree 🙂

      He just texted me that we were out of milk….I told him that there are cows down the street and to bring a bucket!! haha

  1. I’m sure you will eventually get the idea of the coffe maker, but really…..if you are putting those cute bows on all of your cups like that, I don’t even think the coffee needs to taste good! Is all in the appearance 🙂

    • I didn’t get as far as tying a bow around the cup haha….it took me a week to know how much creamer he takes in his coffee, he finally said “see the color of Dart, just a tad darker”….dart is our dog haha….

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