You know, THAT woman who doesn’t know anything about the finances because “her husband takes care of everything”. I used to cringe when I would hear stories of how someone’s father passed away and now the mother was clueless about the finances.I even remember talking to my sister years ago and telling her that she needed to be “in the know” of her household, that she should know where the money was….just in case.
My husband and I have been having those “what happens if one of us dies” talks, these talks became more frequent since his friend suddenly passed away in a horrible accident, leaving his wife and son to handle things by themselves. “Jolene we should look into life insurance for you”, I would make a joke and say “planning on killing me off?” ….. just to lighten the conversation. I knew it was for burial expenses and whatever else……and it wasn’t like I was going to get a million dollar policy, something smaller.
Yesterday, I was talking to a Life Insurance Broker over the phone, we knew what we wanted but this lady was adamant with increasing the policy amount…..which ticks me off more than browsing Bath and body works and being bombarded with “can I help you? try this…..heres a coupon…are you looking for something special?” This is how the conversation was:
“Do you have a mortgage?”
“How much do you have left on the house?”
“uhm, I don’t know” (shit Jolene why don’t you know this)
“uhmm….I don’t know, $_____” (Jolene you just sound stupid)
“Does your husband have life insurance, if so how much is his policy”
“he does, but I don’t know” (she probably thinks I’m an idiot)
“Do you have stocks or bonds?”
“uhm I don’t know” (Jolene, you’re an idiot…your clueless)
“How much does your husband make?”
“Why is this important?” (wanted to throw her off, because i didn’t know)
After a few pointless questions, she asked me about my health ….. which besides my aching knee; I’m in good health. I can afford to lose ten pounds but I’m working on it.
“Well, after my calculations I think you should purchase the $250,000 policy”
“uhm no, that’s not what my husband and I discussed”
“I was figuring the lack of your income,burial expense,the mortgage and other fore seen expenses”
“well, my husband was doing alright before my income he will be fine without it……and I don’t want some fancy casket or big hoopla after, shit I would be surprised if ten people showed up!!” I laughed. …she did to.
Her job was to sell……all she was doing was irritating me and making me realize that I became someone who I thought I would never be…. “A financially clueless wife”. Yes, I have enjoyed not having to stress out over bills, having to make sure things are being paid on time…..since I was 18 I’ve had to worry and stress and penny pinch. I had to carry the burden when ex-husband #2 continued to lose job after job …… it sucked. It is such a relief now to be married to someone who is not only smart but financially smart.
When I got home I told my husband the conversation I had with the nosey insurance broker and how I felt like an idiot and that I became someone who I thought I would never be. “I didn’t know these questions and I felt stupid….I knew she was thinking how can I possibly not know this, because I was thinking the same thing!!!”
“You’re right, you should know…..go grab a pen and paper” he said.
It was nice to be in the know of our household. We talked in detail where money should go if we were to pass on. He told me how much he would give my kids (I even mentioned how I wanted my furkids to get $1000, hey Lily needs a dress once in a while)….I waited patiently to see how much he would like me to give his daughter and step-daughter from a previous marriage. He said “it’s your choice how much you want to give them, they probably wouldn’t even care if I died“.
I wanted to hug him……he was in his head, I knew he missed his daughter. I sat back and told him what I would say to them if they even dared to ask for their monetary amount that they thought was due to them.
“If you feel that you deserve something then let’s do it this way…..how about we figure in $1000 for every birthday you acknowledged, $1000 for every Fathers day you called and talked to him….how about random calls?? what about visits on Christmas or calls?……. hmmmm since I’ve been with your father you have done zero, no calls…no texts, no cards….so I think you owe me? why don’t you write a check in the amount of $_______ and send it to the D.V.A or Billy Graham or some other charity in your father’s name”. My husband grinned. He knew I would handle things just fine.