Two nights ago I had a crazy dream and by crazy I mean I could still remember the terror I felt while being in such a horrible situation. When I woke my heart was beating out of my chest…….it took me several minutes to settle myself down to go back to sleep.
While sitting outside enjoying a very muggy Arkansas evening I brought my dream up to my husband …. this is how the conversation started off.
“So, I had a CRAZY dream last night……….normally when I dream I’m like Lora Croft from Tomb Raider and I’m saving the world. I pretty much kick ass (*husband is rolling his eyes and smirking*) so I’m use to the sight of guns and other nifty gadgets…………but that’s why THIS dream really threw me for a loop. I was at work and someone came in with a shot gun, grabbed me by my hair, shoved me to the ground and that’s when I saw the barrel of the gun pointing right at me. He told me to turn around and then I felt the coolness of the steel on the back of my neck……at that moment it wasn’t the fear of dying that frightened me…..it was the sheer terror and fear of the forthcoming pain that consumed me”
my husband sat silent, digesting my enthusiastic replay of my dream.
“OK so you don’t think your Lora Croft dreams are crazy?”
“No…those are normal, I have them all the time……….it’s not like I’m really Lora Croft I’m kinda like her without the whole leather get up…but seriously this dream was CRAZY”
I knew he didn’t quite get it and was just giving me that “Okie Dokie you’re a nut” look. I think it’s because he can’t remember his dreams (therefore he can’t relate) and mine, sometimes leave me feeling exhausted the next morning…shit it takes a lot out of a person when they are out saving the world ya know!!
The dream really had me thinking, more so about my reaction. The fear of the impending pain consumed me …….all I thought about was “I hope he gets it right and I go quickly”. Why wasn’t the fear of death and leaving everything behind frightening to me?? ……. I guess it’s because it comes right now to my faith.
All I hope…is that THAT dream was a one time thing unlike many of my reoccurring dreams that I look forward to.