I have always been told that I don’t socialize much or that I need to be more talkative when I am around a group of people, but I have always been the type that stands back and scopes the crowd before diving into a conversation that I may know nothing about. The last thing I want to have happen is to be asked my thought on a certain topic and stand there with a dumb expression on my face with nothing to say. I have no desire to look like one of those clueless pageant girls that can’t answer a question intelligently. Like when Miss Upton from South Carolina was asked why she thought one-fifth of Americans can’t locate the United states on a map and she replied :
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, in South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.
Knowing my luck I would be asked about some government mumbo jumbo and I would have to wing it or just use the “Hey do you know where the bathroom is?” excuse. My problem isn’t that I am anti-social my problem is the fear of what people may think of what I have to say. I know, I know….I shouldn’t give a rats ass about someones opinion and I’m working on that.
I have been put in settings where I am at a party and groups have been formed…….With a glass of wine in hand I look around, smile, nod and do the “ohhh wow that’s interesting”. I often get a nudge by the hubby to go over and talk to different groups but I’m not one to barge into someones conversation. I foresee someone looking at me and saying “this is an A B conversation C your way out” (total flashbacks of grade school). I know this would never happen but you never know. I am also not one to jump into a conversation with a group of new mommies talking about late night feedings,diapers and the newest breast pump on the market………..I’m way passed that. Find me a group of people who are talking about raising teenagers, dealing with bad break ups, crazy exes, being single, reality t.v shows and being a newlywed a 3rd time than I’m your girl!!!
There have been times that I have found myself gravitating towards the animals that are vying for attention. I can be content …. enjoying the party, watching people get loaded by the hour, while me and Fido look on and shake our heads.
I can remember countless conversations that I have had with men from my past having an issue with my shyness. “You need to make more friends, you need to socialize…..I have more friends than you! ” they would say. This was never a contest to see who can make more friends and just because someone may have over 400 friends on Facebook doesn’t necessarily mean they are your “Friends” ….. there’s a difference. “Out of your 400 “friends” if you were stuck in the middle of an ice storm and needed someone to come get you, how many of your “friends” would come out to save your ass?” I stared on waiting for an answer…….silence.
Now….I know some of you maybe saying “she doesn’t seem shy here….she sure has a lot to say in her blog”……well yeah that’s true but if we were in a crowded room and I didn’t know you then I would be the little shy girl in the corner with a glass of wine in her hand looking for a stray cat to pet.