“Sis, I asked if he ever thought about a threesome and it totally back fired on me”

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My sister was obviously upset about the repercussions of her question to her husband but I wasn’t sure to either laugh or buy a ticket to Illinois to lay into my brother-in-law  but I was quite amused by the start of this conversation because this isn’t something I would have ever thought would  come out of my sister’s mouth…..my mouth, yes…..hers no.

“OK… calm down…start all over….you asked him WHAT?”

“So the boys are with mom and dad for a week and I’ve been home alone watching shows other than Dora the Explorer, like morning talk shows….reality shows and listening to Ryan’s Roses…..I know I shouldn’t be listening to his show because it always plays with my head but I just had to…but the caller started talking about a threesome and I don’t know what possessed me but I asked Mike what he thought about them ”

If you don’t know what Ryan’s Roses is, it’s done by Ryan Seacrest on 102.7 in the mornings on his morning radio show. Callers write in who suspect their significant other may be cheating on them…..Patty then calls the significant other and offers them a free dozen roses….the catch is to see what the person writes on the card and who he/she sends them to…..8 out of 10 times it’s to someone other than the worried party and with both on the line shit hits the fan. It’s a total train wreck.

“Ok, so let me get this straight…..you just asked him flat-out what he thought about threesomes?”

“Yes and he was appaulled that I would even bring that subject up…… but  then he came home from work and told me that we needed to talk…… he started to accuse me of cheating on him because why else would I ask him about threesomes if I wasn’t already thinking of it and that  I must have someone on the side……I tried to tell him that it was just a question, it really got blown out of proportion Jolene, I started crying and then he got upset with me for crying. Now things are really strange between us….he’s distant.”

I felt bad for my sister, how dare Michael jump to such an asinine conclusion ….this is MY SISTER!!

“So you guys never talked about stuff like this before…..threesomes,fantasies, toys…other bedroom stuff?”

“No we don’t talk about stuff like THAT”

I was a little confused…..why hadn’t they?? In the last ten years they never thought to bring up things that may improve or spice up their sex life…….I’m not talking about venturing into having a threesome….but other stuff…..a little spanking never hurt anyone.

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“Well sis, it’s not like talking about that will send you to hell, it’s healthy to talk about what might spice up things in the bedroom with your husband. First, he shouldn’t have jumped the gun and maybe he’s been talking to Chris who is going through a divorce because his wife cheated on him…….his thoughts and experience are probably influencing Mikes quick assumption to think that you have all of a sudden jumped on the kinky train (I swear his Pollock shows sometimes), secondly there is NOTHING wrong with asking him a question like that for Christ sake you have been married for ten years….this question should have came up…..maybe he ventured into that area before you …who knows…I’m not afraid to ask my hubby things. Let me ask you a question seeing that you guys don’t talk about the bedroom stuff how’s your sex life, is it dry or is it hot and steamy?”

I’m really upfront with my sister, always have been. There isn’t any need for me to beat around the bush.

“Well, it’s kind of dry…..we don’t talk about fantasies or things like that”

I ended up telling my sister that she really needed to sit down and talk to her husband tonight, clear the air and help him understand that it was just a question and that she shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable bringing up  things pertaining to sex,  that  she desires only him but maybe talking about each other fantasies may very well bring some  much needed heat back into the bedroom….heck bring in a toy or two….tie that Bear fan up and smack him on the ass a few times…..hahahah…..all joking aside I think I comforted my sister a little. I hope he at least listens to her ……..

(I did get my sisters permission to write about this)

How open are you to your spouse or partner? Is bedroom talk excluded from your relationship? Do you believe that talking about your desires and fantasies help keep the passion alive in the bedroom?

12 thoughts on ““Sis, I asked if he ever thought about a threesome and it totally back fired on me”

  1. At the risk of being to personal, we discuss everything. No holds barred – the intimate side is really important to both of us and we’ve had quite a few eye-opening conversations!!

  2. Open about everything but sex. Yes! No, it would just embarrass us both. There is no passion to keep alive in the bedroom. It’s been stone cold dead since I married him. I’m a nymph; he’s assexual. We’re what you call sexually incaptible. *SIGH*

    • 😦
      Thank you for your comment…..my husband and I are totally sexually compatible, that’s one thing that burned in my brain and loins hahaha when we were no longer together (ten years ago) …. I would think of him while I was with other men …..the bar was set to high after we had dated briefly (ten years ago)…….I am just thankful that the heat is still there between us both after all this time!!

  3. It is so important to talk about all this… it is a big part of life… intimacy, sexuality, senuality… I was brought up to believe it was all dirty and unhealthy… but I know that it is the seat of a persons creativity and joy… Being true and honouring ourself is what is important here… (Of course I can understand, when we have young kids, it tends to go on the back boiler… but for everyones sake we can make a little time)… Maybe your sisters husband has years of frustration built up or he’s been brought up that its not good….

  4. Pingback: I Suck at Not Being Awesome | Imperfectly Perfect

  5. One thing my wife taught me early on in our relationship is how important it was to talk openly about sex. Never in my past relationships had I been so open, and consequently, I was never satisfied. It’s so important to have open conversation about it because lets be honest, it’s one of the most important parts of any relationship. It’s the #1 reason for divorce. Yet, it surprises me how uncommon it is!!! I have a couple of friends in serious relationships, who have come to me about their relationships and the lack of spice in the bedroom. After a good talking to, and sharing my own experience, they both went to their respective partners and started that discussion. I’m happy to say that they both came back raving about the new steam fogging up their bedroom windows, and literally told me that I saved their relationships. It’s so important, and it’s so crazy that more people don’t realize this!!

    • Thank you for your amazing comment. I am going to have my sister read this!!! I agree with you 100% about being total open with your spouse regarding what you likes and don’t likes in the bedroom!! I believe it’s soooo important to spice things up from time to time!!

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