U.F.I = Unidentified flying insect

It’s been very quiet in the country, there hasn’t been any strange crawdad things popping up in the grass or king snakes hanging out behind the fence. I’ve been able to just walk the grass without worrying of stepping on something that would make me squeal like a little girl!!!

well…until yesterday.

When I got home from work I took the furkids out so they could go potty….I headed over to our patio set  when I saw …..a BIG GREEN NEVER BEFORE SEEN (by me anyways) INSECT with wings laying on it’s back ….it resembled a crawdad, but green with wings…..I was in awe of this new country critter but also a little grossed out.  What the heck is this thing?? could it be a locust?? could it be that bug that squeals at night?? Lily and Dart finally came over to investigate….but of course I didn’t want them to get too close…..Dart was drawn to this thing, he wouldn’t leave this dang thing alone so I decided to do what I do best in situation like this……………put a brick on it!!

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but first I had to push it onto the grass……I used the brick to move it over and when I did something squirted out and hit my leg…..I think the cows down the street heard me scream. Once the UFI was secured under the brick we went inside.

My husband came home and I went into the UFI ordeal, of course he smiled and gave me that sympathetic  look of “you poor city girl”….while he was outside, I went over to the couch and pulled my laptop onto my lap to……well……satisfy my WordPress addiction. Then I saw it……it was crawling on the floor…..HOLY SHIT what is that!!!!  it wasn’t a beetle…..shit it has wings……I grabbed a slipper and tried to kill it……I moved the slipper away….shit this thing is still alive!! Now I have all three furkids around me trying to take a peek at this new finding…..I lifted up the slipper once more and it wiggled and started running straight for my toes…..I let out a loud scream and laid the slipper on the UFI…..my husband came in to see me, Lily and Dart on the couch ….I told him something strange was under his slipper and it wouldn’t die!!

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My hero came over to save the day ….he lifted it up to see ………… “ohhh honey that’s just a horsefly, they are big and you don’t want to get bitten by one of those because it will hurt”….. “A HORSE FLY, I thought a horse fly was just a bit bigger than a fly??”  he turned and stared at me “uhmmm honey this is bigger than a fly!!”

This is too much…..a horse fly?? I screamed like a little girl over a fly?? …………… I grabbed my Nook and decided to go back outside to read a little to calm my nerves…..what I really needed was a bottle of wine, but we don’t have any and “lucky me” I live in a DRY COUNTY!!

I removed the brick from the UFI (still have no clue what it is, my hero never inspected it) and it was no longer green…..it was dead.

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Dart is in awe of the critter while Lily is playing it safe just in case it comes back to life

Meanwhile……..

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Sami looked on while hanging out in the pool

My nerves began to settle down….I was into the story I was reading, enjoying the evening ……………..when I noticed that something was crawling on me………..it was big, black and had wings…….I jumped up and ran to the door……the pups followed but Sami…….she just stayed put in her pool giving me a look …I knew what she was thinking “Silly human, it’s just a bug”.

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19 thoughts on “U.F.I = Unidentified flying insect

  1. I think I’ll be a jerk today and highly recommend that you watch the movie, Starship Troopers. Do this just before, sometime when your hubby is away! 🙂

    Horsefly bites are nasty, but the swelling goes down within a day or so – kind of like a mosquito on steroids!

    • I kinda feel bad ……. Sami or Manwich (her cat friend) probably caught that big green flying insect for me as a Thank you for all the kitty treats I give them and what do I do??? I squeal like a little bitch, lay a brick on it and never once say Thank You for the present.

  2. Dang, I live in Florida. The bugs here have their own airport terminals. Those horseflies we call dragonflies. I’m from Chicago, and the dragonflies there were small, skinny blue things. In fact, I wrote a blog about the dragonflies and the weird creatures here back in September 2012. Check it out if you get a chance. I’m the same way as you are about bugs. Here’s to staying safe from those evil creatures.
    http://loreezlane.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/look-up-in-the-sky/

  3. I often times wear full get ups to kill one tiny bug. Turtle neck…check…long pants….check….mouth guard…check….hair net…check…tennis racket….check….one child standing in front of me for protection…check. Seriously, we are 100 times bigger than these creatures, and can hurt them worse!! I think you’re a tough bird….way tougher than me:)

  4. I am just the same now. I react even worse to frogs and anything in the mice department. Even if they are in a aquarium. But when I was small I was spending all summers at my grandparents in the country and I never had these issues:)) It’s the city that makes me this way:))

  5. Haha! Hilarious story! I totally cringed when I read that it squirted something nasty on you. Bleugh! Never seen a horse fly in my life, and after this debacle, never want to see one! Thanks for sharing though, definitely made my night:)

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