Yesterday, I was speaking with my friend Marie who was distraught over a very recent break-up. I didn’t quite understand why she was upset because she had been trying to find a way to end things with him for months and sorta/kinda moved on with another man but yet she was stating that she screwed up badly and sabotaged the best thing that she ever had. Well “The best thing she ever had” never had time for her, put together a spreadsheet showing when he could fit her into his schedule, disrespected her in front of others, flirted with other woman in front of her, they brought the worse out of each other such as insecurity, jealousy, anger, bruises and to top it off he didn’t like her dog!!! Her vision of “The best she ever had” was totally off kilter.
“Jolene, he’s a hot commodity here….all the women want him. It felt good to be with him when we were out on the town, just knowing others envied me made me feel good…plus when I was talking to my mom she mentioned that I needed to stay with the corporate types because they make money”……ok, I was glad she admitted it…… “Marie, remember when Katie Holmes started dating Tom Cruise? She was in awe of him, she loved what he was about; money…glitz ….glamour….for heavens sake he was her childhood crush and now she was in the spot light being envied by other woman, but after awhile his full crazy showed…….and now look at them” why I brought up Crazy Cruise is beyond me but she saw my point.
“Marie, you have a man in your life (the new guy) who is giving you all that you ever wished “Corp” would. He’s romantic, thoughtful, giving, he is wonderful with your children and he is drama and chaos free, who cares if he doesn’t wear a suit and tie and makes bookoo bucks, this man adores you. He’s not some bipolar pizza delivery driver (no offense to delivery drivers I was trying to make a point) with no direction, he has his own business and gives back to the community……..in some ways he reminds me of Terry…..and you tossed him aside because your mom said he couldn’t provide for you the way you deserved….now here’s your chance to be with a man who is all about balance but for some reason you think you deserve chaos. You need to stop listening to your mother…..is SHE happy in her marriage? No. Would you be happy with Corp knowing full well that you are just a spot on his spreadsheet?? No….Will you grow to be ok with his anger and flirtatious ways or will it just feed your increasing insecurity? Is this the makings of a long and lasting love???? Uhmmmm NO”
I know I was being somewhat harsh, but sometimes tough love is needed. I remember those times when my Best Friend Jenny would give me those core shaking talks, but it was her honesty and hard cold truth that made me see the light and I love her for that!!
“You’re right” is all she said. I could hear the frustration in her voice. I know she’s conflicted……I just wish that she could see beyond the glitz and glamour that she so wants to be a part of. I feel bad for this new guy who has been waiting patiently for her while she has been playing ring around the rosy with her feelings for Corp……..but because of certain actions on Maries part Corp won’t speak with her. “Marie, just remember how you felt when you and Joe were ending things and Corp was the “other” guy….it was hard for you to let Joe go to, but you did…..you need to realize that love may not come in a suit and tie, maybe it’s time for you to see how love without jealousy and doubt feels like, maybe it’s time for your daughters to see their mom happy, maybe it’s time for a good male role model to be part of their life unlike Corp who never fit them into his”
Our conversation was cut short…..but I hope she heard me …REALLY heard me. I just wish she would stop listening to her mother and those high society “it’s all about money” friends……because this is reality not some Real Housewives of “Santa Barbara”. I just want what’s best for my friend and that’s not Corp, she deserves a real genuine man.