A month ago…..
“Mom, I haven’t had my period in a month and a half”
I was thankful that my husband decided to go outside the restaurant for a smoke at that moment, thankful that my daughter Ann decided to wait until we were alone before she sprung that on me and thankful that I had a full glass of wine in front of me.
“Hmmm ok, first question…you have been here for a day and a half and you decide to tell me now? Were you waiting till I was a little tipsy before you told me? I smiled……..because smiling is better than my “what the heck” face and this wasn’t the time to jump to conclusions and start registering for baby stuff.
She told me that she was unsure how to come out and tell me but thought that this time was better than any. We talked for a few more minutes until my husband came back to the table …… I pretty much told her that I would go and buy her a test to see if I would be a grandma at the ripe old age of 40!
The test showed negative…both of them.
“Ann have you started yet?” She told me no ……. I told her that she should see a doctor and I suggested an OB/GYN just so she could just get down to the nitty gritty with this whole situation. “Can you call and set one up….you know all about that stuff and I don’t know what they will need”……fine…… “You know they will have to do an exam on you” I told her. This would be her first visit to a Gyno…..and you would think she would be asking questions about the stir-ups and that special silver tool that us women so enjoy, but no……… “Mom will they take my blood?” … “uhmmm yes, to see if you are pregnant or not…..I had a false negative when I was pregnant with your sister; grandma took me to the ER and one blood test ,2 bags of IV fluid later and a few evil looks from grandma… we found out that I was indeed pregnant…..so yes they will give you a blood test”.
I told her that there’s nothing to worry about and that the first time I went was when I was fifteen. “You were fifteen?” she said. “Yes, it was a week after Jenny and I “ran away” for the weekend….your grandma jumped the gun, thought I had been out whoring around and had to have me checked out” thankfully the doctor excused my mother out of the room and told me that my mother was a little out there with her accusations. Ann and I had a few laughs over that little tidbit!!
“Ohhhh and Ann, before you go to your appointment make sure you shower……..and not just a quick 2 minute shower. No doctor enjoys going down there knowing that their patient didn’t have the courtesy to shower before the visit”……..I’m blunt, my mother never clued me in on the must knows, granted I wasn’t stupid, I showered……. “MOM!!” she laughed. …. “I’m just sayin’ Ann, BELIEVE ME!!! I hear stories ALL the time….so shower good and put deodorant on….throw on some light perfume” I was being silly now, but it was the only way to lighten the situation…..because girls, we all know how nervous we were during our first time and I’m not talking sex!!
to be continued ……