Maid of Dishonor


According to TLC a Maid of Honor is suppose to be the Brides right-hand woman. Some of their duties include:

  • Help the bride dress and deal with her hair, jewelry and the unavoidable wedding day jitters.             (she was M.I.A)
  • Check the last minute details, like instructions for the photographer and deliveries to the hall.                 (We were waiting on her)
  • Act as a messenger between the bride and groom (and various family members). (again M.I.A)
  • Handle dress and veil issues. Hold and protect the groom’s ring.  (hmmmm NO)
  • Hold the bride’s bouquet for the duration of the wedding ceremony.  (check she did that)
  • Toast the bride and groom.   (I GOT ROASTED)

Well, my Maid of Dishonor pretty much showed her face and acted like a guest more than anything. She definitely was not my right-hand woman.

When Marie  and I were little (4yrs old) we would play dress up, our Barbies would marry Ken a zillion times, we concocted a mixture of ingredients from under her sink which we called magua (baby powder, jean nate’ body splash, baby oil, shampoo) we were two peas in a pod, sisters from  another mother. As we got older and experienced LIFE, we still managed to remain the best of friends.  We both went through divorces, had children, lived life as single moms, LOVED hard, experienced broken hearts but through that we somehow managed to keep our spirits up for the one day we would find love again and marry our “dream guy”.

When  I got engaged I knew right away who I wanted standing up next to me, my two best friends Marie and Jenny. I would break all the rules and have both be my Maid of Honor. I had visions of the three of us on my wedding day just having some girl time, sipping champagne, listening  to 80’s music while getting all dolled up for the big moment. I just knew that before I was to meet “The Major” (my husband) at the altar I wanted to be surrounded by the women who meant the world to me.

maid-of-honor-duties-1

Well, that’s not how it turned out.  Jenny was unable to make it due to an unfortunate situation and Marie…….well………..read on.  The wedding was held in Vegas,  we wanted it to be small and very intimate. Just close friends and family……this wasn’t our first rodeo (both been married before). I was still going to make the most of it; I thought that Marie, her 2 girls (my flower girls) and I could get ready together.  Once we met up at the hotel, I went over the schedule with everyone……….then Marie(my maid of honor) informed me that she was going to take her daughters to go “see Vegas”. What??? 3 hours before the wedding and she wants to see Vegas? It’s not like she doesn’t come to Vegas often. Plus, since when does a Maid of Honor just take off? We still had to put the flower girls flowers together, I needed her assistance to get me into that stupid corset contraption that I tried to put it on myself earlier that week  and almost pulled a muscle in my back….it’s a two person job!! I looked at her, waiting for her to say she was joking ….but she wasn’t.  The image of me and my best friends having some girl time before my wedding vanished.

The hair and make up lady came and asked me where my maid of honor was, “seeing Vegas!”  I said. She was sweet and tried to make the experience fun, but the whole time I was wishing Marie was there. Once she left, I had gathered up the flower girls bouqet and tried to hot glue bows and ribbon to them to look pretty, I am NOT crafty and the experience just left me frustrated. When it was time to put on my gown, tears began to well up ……………I called my sister (who was unable to make it due to weather)and told her everything that was going on. “you’re in your room alone?” yes……she was pissed. I ended up having to ask my husbands,best mans wife to help me with the corset….she ended up making the men go get us some drinks and she made the time leading up to the wedding pleasant. She was the sweetest!  When it was time to meet the limo driver, Marie was running late…..of course. When we finally made it into the limo I would have thought she would be right next to me…….i thought wrong. She sat at the very far end with cellphone in hand, texting and calling her boyfriend.  WOW I thought. We got to the chapel and I tried to ignore my maid of honors behavior. Part of me wanted to ask her if everything was ok but I left it alone. The wedding was amazing ……………………..the dinner  was delicious except the unexpected roast. Yeah, my “maid of dishonor” decided to roast me at the dinner table in front of my husbands daughter (who I just met) and his bestfriend, his wife and Maries family. She said some very hurtful embarrassing things……….was this the role a Maid of honor according to TLC,The Knot and all the other wedding websites out there it wasn’t!! Shortly after we had finished our cake she said she was going to take off to gamble. WOW…….. I saw her briefly the next morning and all she said was “ohhh I forgot your gift I will mail it to you” (still waiting…..6 months later) ohhhhh and she showed me a picture of her with Santa and his half naked hot “Elves” that she had taken when she was seeing the sights rather than being with her best friend hours before the wedding.

Her actions really bothered me and as much as I wanted to say something I just hoped it would just go away. I was married to my best friend and that all that mattered….so I thought. Weeks went by and a day didn’t pass that I didn’t wonder why did she act that way. She had been part of so many weddings and had just taken part in her sisters wedding and I know for a fact that when she gets married her maid of honor will be at her beckon call and won’t be “seeing the sights”. I began to think of those times growing up when she had to be in the spotlight…..things had to be about her, as an adult it was the same way. I always made excuses for her self centered behavior because she was my bestfriend, she’s been in my life for 35 years……When she needed help with putting together a surprise party for her boyfriend I was there for her, when she made a spectacle of herself at the party I was there to take care of things……yet on the biggest day of my life she was M.I.A.

A month later I sent her a text and asked her if everything was alright between her and her boyfriend. She said yes and asked me why. I proceeded to tell her that I was just concerned, especially the night of my wedding. I told her how I felt when she decided to “see Vegas” rather than do the prewedding primping together, that the roast was totally uncool and her behavior was just unlike her. I anticipated a text or a hurried call to say she was sorry but instead I got a text stating “I guess I don’t have what it takes to be your friend, have a nice life”.  I tried calling but she avoided my calls, I texted her asking her one simple question “would you be ok if your maid of honor, your best friend acted the way you did on your wedding day? Would you be ok if she left your side to “SEE THE SIGHTS”? ………. I never wanted to admit it but you are very self absorbed”

I haven’t heard from her since. I do miss her …….. but it doesn’t excuse her behavior. I am only hoping that when she gets married and she’s surrounded by her girlfriends that she remembers back to how she treated me, her bestfriend,her “sister” on my wedding day……..on second thought i hope Karma bites her in her ass and her Maid of Honor treats her just like she treated me.

…….. i know , i know that’s wrong…….

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2 thoughts on “Maid of Dishonor

  1. Pingback: OK, I will budge….how are you? ….calling a truce | Valley Girl Gone Country

  2. Pingback: I felt like I was knee deep in high school drama again | Valley Girl Gone Country

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